Simple, right?

Last night I read through my own archives.  I'm not sure why, but I'm glad I did.  For one thing, I noticed some things to edit.  But what stood out the most is how I've changed as a writer.  My Inner Critic tells me that I'll never be a real blogger, that I have no voice, that I'm an okay copy-writer but not a story-writer, that I'm not interesting whatsoever.  But reading my own words, comparing two years ago to last winter, I'm starting to see that, once again, my Inner Critic is full of shit.  I've gotten better, I'm learning to write as I think, as opposed to as I think others might want to read, I've got a bit more focus, and I'm starting to feel a bit more confident, if not prolific.  It's still hard to get motivated though.

I mentioned in a conversation on Twitter the other day that once I have something to write about, I really like the writing process.  But thinking of something worthwhile to write about is where I get stuck every damn time.  That notebook I was keeping beside the bed to write my blog ideas in has been packed (in the same box as my alarm clock, I think) and despite having plenty of time to sit down and type, I just tell myself that nothing is happening, therefore there's nothing to write about.  My blog has always been a simple journal - I share it with my family & friends through Facebook as a way to keep them in the loop on what's going on with me, so I've always had to have some sort of event to write about.  I'm trying to change that mindset, and just write for the sake of writing, to exercise my brain and exorcise some demons.

I think once life settles down and I have a routine again it'll be easier, but these past few months have been anything but settled.

***

As for news, there's nothing to report really.  B is hoping for an interview in the next week or so with a watershed organization in southwest Oregon (around Coos Bay).  He's had some great communication with the Executive Director there, so we're taking it as a good sign considering he's had nothing but form emails ("Don't call us, we've had a bazillion applicants & really don't want to hear from them all" kind of thing) or no communication at all from anyone else that he's applied with.  The supposed "Veteran's Preference" with federal jobs is apparently a load of crap, as he's gotten nothing but rejection after rejection from every department he's applied with, including the Corps of Engineers.  It's disheartening.

Me, well, I was officially terminated at the end of July (which makes sense, considering it's been six months since I was laid off), and I will finally admit that I'm a little bitter about it.  I put two years of hard frickin' work into their green program, and now what?  They're just ignoring it, I think.  I can't even think of an adequate word to describe how I feel when I still see my name on their website, see that they haven't changed any of the information there to reflect that they're not doing the programs anymore.  It's a combination of pissed, yet slightly hopeful, like maybe they're not ready to drop the idea of picking me back up just yet.  Who fricking knows??  Regardless, I've still been applying to jobs out west, but have gotten squat for real leads.  Same shit, different day.  I'd still go back to my old job in a heartbeat, though.

***

As for the move, well, if B gets called about the job in Oregon, then we'll coordinate it with that.  Otherwise, we're leaving Ohio sometime around the beginning of September, no later than the 4th.  B's mom is flying to Missoula to visit B's brother (Little B?  B-Dubz?  Shit, I hate trying to think of nicknames to ensure anonymity, especially when their initials are the same) and B's dad is driving with us, so we're going to time it so we get to Missoula on the same day.  B and I will continue on to my nephew's place outside Spokane and crash there, and our stuff will actually stay in storage here in Ohio until we know where we're going.  It keeps us from having to move our stuff more than once (or twice, really, counting the move from Toledo), and saves us a lot of effort.

So we have a couple of weeks yet for everything to change.  Since it's inevitable that something will come along to screw up our plans.

A Random Random Tuesday

I haven't been doing Random Tuesday Thoughts in a while, mainly because it wound up being the only thing I would post, and I thought that was pretty lame of me.  So instead, I just don't post.
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Last night I dreamt that I was in Target, trying to decide if I wanted to steal a Superman action figure for a craft project.  But none of the action figures were the original Superman in tights with a red cape - they were all "futuristic" with chrome jock straps and night vision goggles, so I decided not to swipe one after all.  As I was leaving the store a little cream toy poodle walked in the door by himself, so I cornered him and was trying to find a tag with his owner's info on it, except he had so many tags on his collar I couldn't figure out which one was current.  I somehow looked up his ID number online and got a list of even more owners, and it just made me sad to think that this poor dog (who I distinctly remember had cataracts and a gray muzzle, so obviously a senior dog) had been through over a dozen homes in his life, and had been named some really stupid names like Coors Light.  I mean, what kind of jackass names a poodle Coors Light?
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There's a 14-day backorder on our new iPhones from AT&T (yet apparently the Apple Store has them in stock - grrr) so I've been putting together my wish-list of apps in iTunes.  Seriously, Cowboys Vs Zombies?  I'm on that like white on rice, baby.  If anybody can recommend some good ones, I'd love to hear about them.  I have the basics - my bank, The Weather Channel, Mapquest, Movies, Tweetdeck - and I want a good grocery shopping app, one that scans barcodes and maintains lists.  I'm going to test Grocery Gadget Lite, and maybe Shopper too.
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(Just checked the status of our orders, SHIPPING TODAY!!  WHOOT!!)
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I've been loading up my Etsy shop with jewelry, some lovely things I might add.  I even had little business cards made with my shop logo (thank you Vistaprint for freebies!).  I'm going to have to slow down for a bit though, until we get settled into wherever we're going.
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Can anybody recommend a good moving company for a cross-country move?  I'm getting quotes from United Van Lines, Mayflower, and Budget Van Lines - and of course there's U-haul as a last resort.  Is there any place else I should be looking into?
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I can't get enough of this commercial:


Frickin' hamsters, ya'll.