Surrounded by Boxes

Between the somewhat more time-filling schedule at the bookstore than I had anticipated, plus the scramble to find a place to live in Akron so B didn't have to commute 45 minutes every day, and then the subsequent move... I'm away from my desk, please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.  If you need immediate assistance, press 1 for the operator.  Beeeeeeeep.

Long story short, we looked at seven different places in Akron, the first being awesome but too expensive, some in the middle that were just meh (and some that were yuck), to the last one which, strangely, has the same floorplan as the house we rented in Toledo.  It felt like home right away.  It has its downsides though - no fenced-in yard, so Jake has to be on a cable; fully carpeted; sump pump right in the middle of the basement floor (yick); neighbors literally rightherenextdoor; and no central air.  Which we thought would be manageable with the massive attic fan upstairs - open the windows at night & turn that sucker on, and in rushes the cool air... but unfortunately this only works when it's actually cool at night.  So we bought a portable air conditioner.  Emphasis not so much on the portable really, but easier than a window unit for sure.

But we're settling in, slowly but surely.  The cats stayed at B's parents' place until last night and are now exploring happily, Jake has "christened" the living room carpet already but at least it's a darker color so it doesn't show, we had some mildew on a few things from the storage unit that had to be cleaned, we finally got the basement carpet dried out after the homeowner's valiant effort with a steam cleaner, but most importantly, the beer glass collection is put away in the china display cabinet (which are almost identical to the ones we had in Toledo too).  We're still unpacking (the heat slowed me down a lot, plus the aforementioned crazy work schedule at the bookstore) and we have a wedding to attend this weekend so we probably won't get much further with it until late next week.  I'm off to Chicago for NeoCon on Monday & Tuesday, and B's new job leaves him wiped out when he gets home, so the non-essential stuff will just have to wait I guess.

Finally!!!

So it took a while, but I can finally say that I'm EMPLOYED!

I am officially working a an Independent Contractor for another furniture company outside Toledo - they're letting me work remotely from Cleveland, with a once-a-week trip to their office for physical work.  Our initial contract is for 3 months, to complete a certification in time for Neocon (a big trade show for interior design held in Chicago every June).  I'll be doing all the fun data collection & writing for the certification.  Once this initial phase is complete, we'll re-negotiate from there - either I will officially hang out my shingle as a Consultant and file all the paperwork to become an LLC, or I'll be hired on a full-time basis to manage this company's environmental stuff, just like at my last job.

I'll probably only go the LLC route if I can round up some more clients, and the easiest would be my two previous employers.  (Nudge nudge, Dave and Greg and Ian and Heather....  ;) )

I'll be honest, these first 3 months are kind of a "special introductory offer" - I'm not getting paid a whole heckuva lot, compared to the rest of the green business consulting world, but (a) they recognize that fact & it will definitely be part of the renegotiation, and (b) I'm definitely not turning away an opportunity like this just because they're not willing to pay me a higher rate that, frankly, I haven't proved I'm worth yet as a consultant.  So, I'm conceding the point for right now.  It's just nice to get a paycheck!

I'm still looking for a second part-time retail job, just to get me out of the house in the evenings.  Working from home is a brand-new experience for me, and I'm sure I'll get tired of not leaving the house!

B started his part-time summer job this week too.  He's working at the convention/event center in Akron as a houseman and caterer, something he's done in the past and that pays really well.  It'll be a good second job for him, especially if he's able to get this National Parks job he's pushing for!

We've also filled out the application to get pre-approved for a VA Home Loan, because it would honestly be cheaper and a better financial choice for us to buy a house than rent.  We're hoping to make an offer on an awesome little place not too far from here, but our realtor called last night & said there was another offer for it.  If we get our letter back tomorrow we might still be able to squeeze in, but we're not hanging all our hopes on it.  We'll see what happens, and if we miss out then we'll keep looking.  There's a ton on the market right now after all.

So, FINALLY, some good news to report!!  :D

Positive Outlooks

I think it's a sign that we're doing the right thing when:

On the first day of our drive back to Ohio, I get a call to set up an interview...
On the last day, B gets a call to set up an interview too...
The sun shines, the roads are mostly clear, and we only encounter bad weather in the last 20 minutes of the whole trip...
And the cats are absolute angels in the car for the entire four days.

It's true!  My interview was last Tuesday (I know, I'm way behind with the updates) and it went really well.  B's was Friday, and it went really well too.  We probably won't hear anything else until after the holidays - I do know that I'll have a second interview then, and the job B applied for would start in January, so he'll hear a definite answer soon.  The catch is, B's is in Toledo, and mine is here in the Cleveland area - for those who don't know Ohio geography, they're two hours apart.  So we'll have to make a decision, but for now we're just going to enjoy the holidays.  

***

Driving around town, running errands or Christmas shopping, I keep seeing empty storefronts in really great areas.  It keeps reminding me of an idea I've had in the back of my mind for many years now - I want to have a little shop.  At first it was a little gift shop, with custom framing and local artists mixed in with collectibles and cards, located in a little cottage in the tourist district of a beach town.  I still think that'd be fun, but switch it to a craft shop with beads and yarn instead of the custom framing, and offering classes and perhaps a club of some sort, a sort of local co-op for crafters and artists to interact.  My friend Julie is a crafty bitch (or witch... literally!) like me, and she made a comment to me once about "subversive crafting" which I thought might be a fun name for a shop.  Then today I commented back on something she'd written, saying I was a "fickle crafter," which I think is a good one too.  I think with that one, I would have the opportunity to offer a wider variety of things - "when you can't decide what to create" or something like that. My heart was always set on a beach town, like Seaside, or even Port Townsend, but seeing some of the places around here that are open made me realize that I could do this anywhere, any time.

For right now, I've got my little Etsy shop up and running.  An idea like this takes capital, which I absolutely do not have.  So it'll sit on the back burner, simmering away, while I add new ideas and start saving some money.  

There and Back Again

In case you missed it on Twitter or Facebook, B and I are heading back to Ohio this week.  It wasn't a simple decision - a lot of things were taken into consideration.  But it all boils down to finding work, and unfortunately we're not finding it here.  It's easiest to explain it this way:

1. Yes, we have a free place to stay here, which is awesome.  However...
2. ... it's over an hour outside the city, so getting a temporary job is impossible.
3. And no, we don't want to get a rental while we work temp jobs, that'd be pretty pointless.
4. Between the two of us, we've applied for over 40 jobs out here...  
5. ...and between the two of us, we've had THREE interviews, two for jobs that we didn't take for our own reasons, and the third, well, B got hosed.  It's been more than just frustrating, let me tell you.
6. My unemployment benefits run out at the end of January, so it's sh*t-or-get-off-the-pot time.
7. On top of all this, our free place to stay is COLD.  I don't mind the snow, but when it's below zero outside and we can't keep it warmer than 50 degrees inside... something's gotta give.

Now, back in Ohio:

1. We also have a free place to stay, which is also awesome.
2. This free place to stay is actually WARM, with a gas fireplace even!
3. It's also located right in the heart of the suburbs, surrounded on all sides by places to get temp jobs.
4. B already has a temp job lined up out there, at the ski resort he used to work at.
5. All of our stuff is still out there, so we'd actually be able to use our winter coats and snow boots, among other things.

But the kicker is this: the government is currently handing out millions of dollars in grants toward the Great Lakes Restoration Initiative, which means there are more watershed-type projects being started there, which means more jobs in B's field.  He's put in applications for a few already, including one with the group he did his internship with.  So the chances of B starting his career are pretty darn good out there.  And we've gotten the impression that the Northwest won't be hiring any transplanted Midwesterners anytime soon.

So we're loading back up, cats and dog and suitcases (plus a few more things that my aunt was storing for me), and heading back east.  I never would have thought it was possible to feel disappointed and excited all at the same time.

On and on

Not much new to report.  Mom headed to Arizona a couple weeks ago so we've moved into her little house, much to the joy of the pets.  Jake has the couch, the cats can play race-cars up and down the long hallway, and we have a real bed to share with all three of them.  It's staying warm enough inside (surprising, since we're relying solely on portable electric heaters) and there's snow on the mountains across the river today.

We're both still applying for jobs like crazy - the job interview in Bend went well, but afterwards I realized that I really wouldn't fit in at the company (six people, all hard-core liberal hippies, and me, an only slightly left-leaning Republican... kinda hard to hide your differences in an office so small), and that B would have to take a job completely outside his realm.  It would have been miserable for me and unfair to him, so we decided to keep looking.  So, here we are, still looking.  I have a handful of applications out that I'm really hopeful about, and B has a couple to apply for this week that would be awesome too.  We have days where we just ignore the fact that we're unemployed and essentially homeless and just sit with a book and a crochet project and veg out.  Then we have days where we just want to scream and give up.  Mix in a couple completely productive get-shit-done days and that's where we are.  It's draining.

But we've been spending time with my long-lost friends and family, getting reacquainted with my hometown, and enjoying the scenery, if not the inconveniences of living in the sticks.  We drove past the house I grew up in a few days ago, which I was incredibly nervous about.  Mom had to sell the house a few years ago when she realized she couldn't take care of it by herself anymore, and the impression I'd gotten was that the people that bought it we're taking very good care of it.  In reality, it was just a matter of different taste - they painted it a dark pine-green-gray color with white trim, as opposed to the light gray with blue trim that Mom and Dad had liked, and they fenced a portion of the side yard for their dog and to keep the deer out of their sizeable vegetable garden.  I was surprised to find how much I liked what they'd done to it.  

I drove though my college campus too, which has grown tremendously since I was a student nine years ago.  I haven't visited my old high school yet, and I kind of want to catch a football game there to try and catch up with the coaches and teachers that are still there that I knew and loved.  It's been quite a trip down memory lane, and exciting to see how much the city has changed.  To think, all those years ago I couldn't wait to leave, and now I'm actually glad to be here.

It's starting! (eeeek!)

I sent out a mass-email to my fam & friends yesterday, outlining our plan (as much as we have one) & I've been talking about it in Facebook & Twitter, so I figured I'd make it all official and shit by writing about it here too.  (Since we all know I'm so good about writing...)

We're leaving Ohio on Friday!

The stuff that we had out here at the in-law's has been crammed into our now over-stuffed storage unit, awaiting further instruction.  We'll stuff our clothes into suitcases, fill up a cooler with caffeinated beverages and beef jerky, drug the bejeezus out of the pets, and down the road we'll go, across I-90 through such joyous places as Mitchell, South Dakota, until we land in Spokane.  We'll crash there for a couple of days, then dump the pets on my mom and drive down to the booming metropolis of Coquille, Oregon to meet with some folks that might actually want to hire B, and pay him to do watershed-type-stuff.  The job seems to be in the bag, so when we get a confirmed "welcome to the company" we'll drive around down there to find a place to rent.  Thankfully there are a couple of good-sized towns nearby where we should be able to find a place - otherwise we'd probably be shit out of luck in that tiny little town.

Now, obviously there are a plethora of ways this could all go south of cheese.  I started listing all the possible things that could go wrong, then I started getting the shakes.  Traveling across the country is one thing, but traveling with two cats and a dog is another.  Then there's the whole, what if B doesn't get this job bit, which... while the idea of living and trying to find a job myself in such a smalltown-rural-middle-of-nowhere area kind of makes me a bit OMG, I'd much rather face that challenge than face starting all over again on the job hunt for B.  Me, well, there are dream careers and then there are jobs, and I can find a job doing whatever.  B needs this job to kick-start his career, and I'm willing to wait a couple of years for him to catch up before taking the next step with mine.  Besides, I grew up in hickville, and the area down there looks awesome from what we've been able to see.  I think I can make it work.

I'm still left thinking about what I'm going to do though.  I'm getting the federal unemployment extension and have about 5 more months on it.  It's possible I might get a second extension too, since I last worked in Michigan.  So I could keep leeching off the government for a while.  Or I could find a retail job and have flashbacks to those despairing years right out of college, which wouldn't be too bad but might wind up paying less than I'm getting from UIA.  There are a couple other complete-leap-of-faith ideas, in other words absolutely insane and not entirely realistic, that are floating around in my head.  But both require either a good amount of capital or a good amount of experience, neither of which I have at the moment, so I think they will continue to sit on the back burner.

A couple of things I know I'm going to do though, are the farmer's markets and volunteering with the watershed association that B will (hopefully) be working for.  I don't want my marketing & PR skills to get rusty, so I figure I'll loan them to the CWA.  And I've always wanted to have a booth at a market to sell not only our garden veggies, but my crafty bits & bobs too.  Smalltown Oregon seems to be the perfect place to start, so I'm really looking forward to that.

Also, this:

"Neah da beech, boyeee!"

Simple, right?

Last night I read through my own archives.  I'm not sure why, but I'm glad I did.  For one thing, I noticed some things to edit.  But what stood out the most is how I've changed as a writer.  My Inner Critic tells me that I'll never be a real blogger, that I have no voice, that I'm an okay copy-writer but not a story-writer, that I'm not interesting whatsoever.  But reading my own words, comparing two years ago to last winter, I'm starting to see that, once again, my Inner Critic is full of shit.  I've gotten better, I'm learning to write as I think, as opposed to as I think others might want to read, I've got a bit more focus, and I'm starting to feel a bit more confident, if not prolific.  It's still hard to get motivated though.

I mentioned in a conversation on Twitter the other day that once I have something to write about, I really like the writing process.  But thinking of something worthwhile to write about is where I get stuck every damn time.  That notebook I was keeping beside the bed to write my blog ideas in has been packed (in the same box as my alarm clock, I think) and despite having plenty of time to sit down and type, I just tell myself that nothing is happening, therefore there's nothing to write about.  My blog has always been a simple journal - I share it with my family & friends through Facebook as a way to keep them in the loop on what's going on with me, so I've always had to have some sort of event to write about.  I'm trying to change that mindset, and just write for the sake of writing, to exercise my brain and exorcise some demons.

I think once life settles down and I have a routine again it'll be easier, but these past few months have been anything but settled.

***

As for news, there's nothing to report really.  B is hoping for an interview in the next week or so with a watershed organization in southwest Oregon (around Coos Bay).  He's had some great communication with the Executive Director there, so we're taking it as a good sign considering he's had nothing but form emails ("Don't call us, we've had a bazillion applicants & really don't want to hear from them all" kind of thing) or no communication at all from anyone else that he's applied with.  The supposed "Veteran's Preference" with federal jobs is apparently a load of crap, as he's gotten nothing but rejection after rejection from every department he's applied with, including the Corps of Engineers.  It's disheartening.

Me, well, I was officially terminated at the end of July (which makes sense, considering it's been six months since I was laid off), and I will finally admit that I'm a little bitter about it.  I put two years of hard frickin' work into their green program, and now what?  They're just ignoring it, I think.  I can't even think of an adequate word to describe how I feel when I still see my name on their website, see that they haven't changed any of the information there to reflect that they're not doing the programs anymore.  It's a combination of pissed, yet slightly hopeful, like maybe they're not ready to drop the idea of picking me back up just yet.  Who fricking knows??  Regardless, I've still been applying to jobs out west, but have gotten squat for real leads.  Same shit, different day.  I'd still go back to my old job in a heartbeat, though.

***

As for the move, well, if B gets called about the job in Oregon, then we'll coordinate it with that.  Otherwise, we're leaving Ohio sometime around the beginning of September, no later than the 4th.  B's mom is flying to Missoula to visit B's brother (Little B?  B-Dubz?  Shit, I hate trying to think of nicknames to ensure anonymity, especially when their initials are the same) and B's dad is driving with us, so we're going to time it so we get to Missoula on the same day.  B and I will continue on to my nephew's place outside Spokane and crash there, and our stuff will actually stay in storage here in Ohio until we know where we're going.  It keeps us from having to move our stuff more than once (or twice, really, counting the move from Toledo), and saves us a lot of effort.

So we have a couple of weeks yet for everything to change.  Since it's inevitable that something will come along to screw up our plans.

Smooth Move (we hope!)

Everything is still going as planned for The Big Move!  The cats are climbing all over the boxes we have stacked throughout the house, the final few fixer-upper projects are getting done, we sold and donated a bunch of extra stuff that we didn't want to move, we reserved a truck and a storage unit over near the in-law's for a month, and we're planning our route across the country for July.  Which, South Dakota in July?  Yuck.  But I'm not complaining as long as I get where I want to be!
 

View Larger Map


Mom is thinking about flying out at the end of June too, so I can have some company in the car besides just the cats yowling in the back.  (Thank god for sedatives.)  ( For the cats.)  (Although some for Mom might not be a bad idea either...)  (Kidding Mom!!)  If we didn't have the pets with us, we would want to take a side-trip to Mount Rushmore and some of the historical sites along the way, but it'd be way too hot to leave anybody in the cars while we were sight-seeing.  We'll just have to save it for another time.

In other news, I still have a little bit of hope for going back to work.  I called the financial company that manages our 401(k)'s to roll over the funds into an IRA with my bank, and they told me that I wasn't terminated after all - my company had accidentally sent in a termination notice for me to the financial company, but called a couple of days later to correct the mistake, but the financial company had already sent me a notice in the mail about rolling over the funds.  So, long story short, I'm going to try to schedule a meeting with my boss and the president for next week to talk more about the possibility of working remotely.  There's still a slight chance it could work out, and it would be the absolute ideal situation (aka, holy shit it would be frakking AWESOMESAUCE).  I'm outlining some ideas to talk about and planning my attack (tasteful-yet-low-cut-shirt, professional-yet-endearing-and guilt-rendering-demeanor, etc etc).  Wish me luck!!

Eating bon bons and getting fat on the couch

So you would think I'd be blogging and twittering and such every day now, right?

Since I have all this free time.

*snort*

In the past week, I have cooked a couple of elaborate meals, baked cupcakes, painted the breakfast nook in the kitchen, painted the wooden dog-baby-gate-thingy that guards the doorway to the kitchen, painted the kitchen island/recycling station thingy, done several loads of laundry, vacuumed and dusted, rearranged the furniture in the bedroom, reorganized my closet and dresser, gotten groceries, gone to the library, reorganized my entire iTunes library, finished our taxes, filed unemployment, gotten hooked on Lost, and slept in once or twice.

I know I'm missing some stuff too. This being unemployed is wearing me out already.

Financially, I think we'll be okay for a month or so (knock on wood or wood byproduct or wood-based material or whatever you have readily available to you, please), due to a big ol' tax refund (thank you, educational credits!) and B's last GI Bill check that should be here any day now, and of course the unemployment benefits I've applied for. And hopefully by then I'll have a better idea of whether this lay-off is really as temporary as everyone said, or if "temporary" means "Don't sell the bike shop, Orville." In which case, I'll find something equally temporary to get us through until B's graduation, then adios muchachos. I hope it doesn't come to that, but closing doors/opening windows and all that. You never know. It might be time for a change.

Upsides/Downsides

Having time to work on the list of house projects that I was afraid would never happen, including some that were strictly optional yet potentially fun

Working on half-finished craft projects, like the quilt I'm making out of fabric from when I was a kid and the cross-stitch for my sister I've been working on for over ten years

Not being too tired to cook in the evenings, and cooking more things from scratch

Mid-morning naps

Mid-afternoon naps

Catching up on Dexter, Burn Notice, and Angel

Putting a bunch of stuff on Craigslist sooner rather than later

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Filing for unemployment in one state while residing in another is apparently too complicated to do online

Having to get rid of our unlimited text feature on our cell accounts

Having to get rid of cable TV (but substituting Netflix/Hulu)

Turning down the heat even more to save on the gas bill

Stressing out over our lack of groceries and also lack of grocery money

Potentially going back to retail just to have some income

Anticipating having to pay out the nose for COBRA insurance coverage

Having to borrow money from our parents (at least it would be interest-free.... right, Mom?)

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(At least the cons are all in future tense. We're hoping we won't have to do all of them.)

I spoke to damn soon.

So. Now you know why I named this blog what I did.

Last Friday I wrote a short post about how I'd been busy, but I had big plans for later this year and here's hoping and all that.

I fucking jinxed it, ya'll.

I am totally jobless.

My ass got laid off.

I'm not sure how many other people were in the same boat as me today (at least 6 that I'm sure about). The exec's that I wound up speaking to all reassured me that this was totally temporary. Whether we all define temporary the same, well, I guess that remains to be seen.

In the meantime, I'll be filing for my slice of the gov'mint cheese, and working on some projects around the house that have been put off for a while. And I'll keep hoping that temporary means sooner rather than later. And I'll update my resume, just in case it doesn't.

Transpo Woes

I have a big trip coming up next week, and I'm getting kind of anxious.

I head for Phoenix on Tuesday for GreenBuild, which lasts until the 13th.  I'm staying over the weekend though, taking the time to hang out with my mom, and coming home on Monday the 16th.  I'm excited, yes - last year's GreenBuild was really interesting and fun, even.  I'm just glad it's being held in Arizona this year instead of the Northeast.

But I'm nervous, too.  It's a little intimidating being in situations where I don't know a soul, but it's kind of nice at the same time because I can totally ignore everyone if I want to.  The crowd will be ginormous I'm sure, which just adds to the anxiety a bit.  Do I really fit in here?

On top of all that is the transportation.  Normally when I travel for work, I try to stay at a hotel close enough to the event so I can walk.  I love walking - not only for the exercise, but because if I get lost it's easy enough to stop, get my bearings, and get un-lost.  At GreenBuild last year, I wasn't quite close enough to walk (especially in the freezing Boston winter), but there were shuttle buses that went to the major hotels associated with the convention.  This year, I'm definitely not close enough to walk, and it looks like they're relying on public transportation rather than private shuttles.  And the thing that freaks me out about public transportation is not so much the public, as the inability to stop if I get lost, aka get on the wrong train or bus.  Once you're on, you're kind of screwed, and next thing you know you're halfway to Mexico.

So I'm scouring the Phoenix transportation website, hoping there's a straight shot from near my hotel to the convention center, but I can't make heads nor tails of the system.  I'm just hoping that the concierge is clued in and can help me out.

Otherwise I'm renting a damn car.

Things I Would Have Twittered, if I had Mobile Twitter Capabilities

Loose, blousy, striped tee-shirts apparently make TSA folks suspicious. Me & my belt made of C4 explosives got the pat-down by a cute little blonde at the Detroit airport. I think the creepy guy at the xray machine put her up to it just so he could witness some hot girl-on-girl. Sorry dude, didn't mean to disappoint you with our whole 3 seconds of action.

I sat between an odd couple on my flight to L.A. Girl & guy, obviously traveling together, so I asked if they wanted to sit right next to each other instead of having me in the middle. Answer was an immediate "No. No. No, that's okay. No." WOW. Then discover later that they're MARRIED. Ouch. Girl was somewhat normal despite the fact that she inhaled a gallon-size bag of Jelly Bellys. But the guy, holy nutcase! I'm not sure if it was nerves or what, but he was not just biting his nails, he was full-on eating his fingers. Every finger, all the way up to the first knuckle, was red and oozing and gnawed on. Non-stop. The entire 4.5-hour flight. Uuurrrrghhh.

I was booked at the Four Point LAX, but when I arrived their power was out so they moved me next door to the Renaissance. Supposedly this was a "major upgrade" but really? No hot water, hair everywhere (including the bathroom ceiling?!), constant noise through the connecting doors, $13/day for internet... it was nicely furnished, don't get me wrong, but if this was an upgrade I'd hate to stay at the other place.

Presentations & meetings all went well, and had a good conversation with my co-worker about promoting this class a little more. Further discussion is needed, but I think we're on the same page now. Looks like I'll be heading to Vegas in September, and adding some presentations to my schedule while I'm in Phoenix for Greenbuild in November too.

Got to see a bit more of the L.A. area this time around, mostly Culver City and a bit of downtown too. Had lunch at an awesome Mexican place (on Sepulveda I think??), and had a seared Ahi tuna taco. So. Good. OMG.

Guy at LAX looked so much like Kelly Slater I had to watch him for several minutes before I determined that it wasn't. Too skinny and not quite the same facial structure. Also this guy played soccer. Still nice to look at though.

Flight back was pretty bleah. Had a window seat this time at least, but the girl in the middle had a nasty cold and kept blowing her nose, like wet-honking-snot-filled blowing that really should have taken place in the bathroom. It's not like it was very far away, considering we were in the very back of the plane. Get up off your ass and don't subject the rest of us to your nastiness. Dude in the aisle seat and I shared a bottle of hand sanitizer as we walked through the airport & joked about loading up on vitamin C and zinc when we got home.

Finally made it home around 2 a.m. and am looking forward to leaving work a bit early today!

Torn

I like to vent.  (Thank you, Captain Obvious!)  Seriously though, I'm one of those people who tend to take things too personally (okay Cap'n, I think we get that too...) and if I don't get it out somehow I dwell on it endlessly until I can't take it anymore and blow it even more out of proportion and then kablooey, it's an ugly mess that only solvent-based cleanser can take care of.  And we all know how bad solvent-based cleansers are.

So when I started this blog, my intention was to vent here, about whatever I wanted - my husband being an ass, work-related bullshit, life in general, whatever - this was going to be my space to say what I needed to say so I could move on (and we can all see how effective THAT is).  But now, I've opened it up to family, the aforementioned husband, and work friends, by posting a link on my Facebook page.  While I don't know for certain who is reading - besides my mom, that's kind of a given! - I am now regretting my choice to open this up.  Not so much to family, because they know & understand a little better, but it seems lately that a lot of my venting is about work - I still love my job, but the last post is evidence of the frustrations it can bring - so I'm really hoping that none of my co-workers are reading, or if they are, that they know & understand as well.  

I make a point to never use names (except for B) and I disabled the link that cross-posted to Facebook, but I'm debating about deleting the link to it entirely, just to cover my ass.

Any thoughts out there?

Might take some convincing.

This week's presentations went really well.  By the end I was running about 20-30 minutes, when it's really supposed to last an hour... which gave the sales guy some more time to do his pitch.  I definitely will be talking to the boss about marketing this presentation differently from now on.  It's obviously successful and a great way to get in front of designers and architects that we probably would not otherwise... but by limiting who we are willing to present it to we're totally shorting ourselves.  Hopefully he'll agree, and I'll have my job back (figuratively speaking).

Chicago this round has been great as usual... chilly and windy, but sunny.  The wind today cut right through you, so I've spent most of the time inside.  I switched hotels today, from the Affinia to the Burnham, River North area to The Loop.  The River North is a bit nicer, but The Loop is closer to the museums that we want to visit tomorrow.  Besides we don't need to be doing any more shopping!  

There's been competing noise-makers outside for most of the day today... a couple of kids banging on plastic buckets which isn't so bad, they're pretty talented.  But the hellfire-and-brimstone street preacher is getting on my nerves.  He has a mike and mini-speaker, and since I'm on the third floor of the hotel I can hear him pretty well.  I was going to take a nap today, but I just can't sleep with that kind of noise.  Normal street noise I can deal with okay, but banging and yelling like this, not so much.  But I know when we go to sleep tonight they'll be gone.  The Affinia was right next to the fire station, and when CFD trucks started up their sirens it made me jump a mile every time, especially at 3 a.m., so this is really nothing in comparison!

B & his brother are on their way, and I have a mile to walk to meet them at a friend's place.  I might just make B get a cab if it's too cold though!

Time for a quickie

Just a brief note about life in general.

Still managing to avoid getting laid off.  Not sure how I'm pulling it off, and now there's rumors that I'm going to be cut from the national sales meeting schedule.  Which I totally call bullshit on.
***

So far the trip to Chicago to teach the class is still on though.  Or at least, I haven't heard otherwise.  B and his brother are going to drive over to meet me on the Friday of the trip, and I booked a sweet room at Hotel Burnham for the weekend ($87!!  Holy shit!) so we can have some fun at the Field Museum and whatnot.  B's never been to Chi-town so it'll be fun... I just hope the weather is nice.

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Lily has started doing this weird thing lately where she balances on top of the dog/baby gate in the doorway to the kitchen, like she's a gatekeeper or something.  I have to try to catch a pic of her, it's really kind of funny.
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Three items into my list and I'm already running out of things to say?!?
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Oh, one more thing did happen lately, I went to the eye doc and he tried to prescribe me some glasses.  Until B looked at the prescription, and we realized they were cheater-strength.  Actually, LESS than cheater-strength, only .75+, and they were trying to sell me $150 frames!  Granted, most stores don't sell .75+, so we had to order them online for $30, but still.  I didn't like the doc much anyway (no sense of humor at all), and when they tried to rip me off, that kind of settled it.  I won't be returning to that doctor (although B still likes him, but I think we could get his contacts cheaper somewhere else too).  So now I have reading glasses, and despite the fact that they're pretty weak, I have noticed a big difference when I use them.  No eyestrain or headaches at the end of the day!

***

Don't tell B, but I put out a dish of kitty bitties for these two stray cats that have been wandering onto our porch.  One is a pale orange tabby, and the other is a monstrous brown tabby tomcat with the biggest head I've ever seen.  I think I'll call him Head.  Maybe I could train him to bring me my pants.  I don't necessarily want to make these cats our pets, but if they would hang around and kill the moles in our yard, that'd be nice.  I'll try to catch them and have them fixed though.  I was this close to doing that to a stray cat last spring, but he must have caught my vibe and he disappeared.  But I think he might have been someone's pet, because he was super affectionate and not afraid at all.  I called him Jasper.  He was a dilute tortoiseshell, and so pretty!  I hope he's okay... I haven't seen him since.

A cause to follow, and other bits

If you read my notes on Facebook you'll know this already, but those just reading my blog I thought I would share this with you too. I just signed up to participate in the Toledo area Walk MS event, and I'd love your support! My sister has MS, and has been in a wheelchair for as long as I can remember, but by God she is the strongest person I know. I also recently learned that one of my co-workers has MS, so I'm dedicating my walk to both of them.

You can go to my donation page to contribute, or if you want to find a walk/bike event in your area, go to the National Multiple Sclerosis Society page.

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I've managed to survive the layoff field day at work last week. It was pretty heartbreaking, watching my friends pack up their things, hoping that they'll get a call back soon, wondering if they'll be okay in the meantime. What makes it especially hard is knowing that if I hadn't gotten this new job, it totally would have been me. I guess my timing was perfect in regards to getting trained on how to teach this class... I think that's pretty much the only reason why I'm still here. I got word that my first opportunity to teach will be in Chicago in April (whoo hoo! Thanks Lisa!) so I guess I have a bit of job security until then at least. I also have a new cube, up at the front of the office again. I miss the quiet and the skylight, but I don't miss the isolation and loneliness. I sit next to a phone-shouter now, but that's why I bring my mp3 player to work.

***

B's spring break is the second full week of March (I think I've mentioned this before, but March in NW Ohio is not spring) and we were going to take a road trip to visit some family in NC and VA, but we've decided that time would be better used to work around the house, getting the gardens ready to go, spring cleaning and whatnot. I'll take a few days off from work, and recharge my batteries a bit before starting with the travel again. Nothing like digging in the (half-frozen) dirt to relax and boost your confidence.

I'm workin on it, really!

It's not like I don't have material to write about.  I mean, my life is just so darn exciting, ya know?  

For example, I was in Atlanta last week to learn how to teach a class.  Cool, right?  The class is meant to be taught to interior designers and architects, and it talks about "Healthy Indoor Air Quality by Design."  Riveting, right?  Right?  Helloooo?  Am I the only person around here who thinks this stuff is important?  (Notice, I didn't say interesting, just important.  Big diff.)  Oh wait, maybe I am.

Seriously though, this is probably going to boost my travel time considerably.  Which is cool, yes, but sucks as well.  As much as I love going places, trying new restaurants and staying in swanky hotels (on someone else's dime, no doubt), I'm such a damn homebody that most times I'd rather be on my couch with a cat trying to sit on my computer and B doing his impression of a Tourette's patient in the next room.

But, thus is the nature of my job.  So this Friday I'm giving the class for the first time, to the higher powers at work.  Wheeee!  What? *hurl*  (I'm getting much better at speaking in front of groups, except when (a) it's people I know and (b) I don't just know them, I work for them.  In these situations, my face gets redder and more tingly than usual, I play with my hair and generally look like a tard.  Joy!)

So you see?  I have material.  I just have to actually write more.

Back, and Forth

We survived Christmas!  Mom was here for a little over a week, which went well I think.  I lost patience a couple of times, which I'm sorry about, but I guess it's my fault... I don't call her often enough, so I never really know how she's really doing, so I expect the worst when she comes to visit, which makes me anxious, which leads to me being kinda snippy sometimes.  But I only lost it once, which is pretty dang good if you ask me.  We had some fun though, playing cards & shopping & hanging out.  Resolution #1: Be more patient.  Resolution #2: Keep in touch with friends & family better!

Christmas itself went pretty well too.  I was kinda stressed about cooking a fancy dinner for the in-law's but it turned out great.  We almost had an incident with the mashed potatoes... did you know they turn to GLUE when you wait until they're cold to add the cream & mash them?  Amazingly enough the salmon didn't catch fire and I didn't forget anything, and the soup was awesome even though we made it with crab instead of lobster.  And there's actually still a slice of pumpkin swirl cheesecake left that is calling my name!  Resolution #3: Eat healthier, while still enjoying what I eat!

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Supposed to get the Suby (aka "The Blue Booby" according to B) back from the shop tomorrow.  It took a lot longer than it should have due to the warranty company being a bunch of jackasses and refusing to cover the claim.  But thankfully the guys at my shop went to bat for me & convinced them to cover the majority of the repair, and they even convinced the dealership to cover part of it too which surprised the crap out of me!  We still have to pay a little bit out-of-pocket but it's affordable and worth it too, considering our shop warrantees their work for 3 years.  I hope I never see them again, but it's still good to know.  I am SO TIRED of having car problems!  Resolution #4: Take care of this car like it's the last one on earth!

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I managed to convince the "higher powers" at work that I needed a different computer.  For the first several trips I was using my personal laptop, which I didn't really feel comfortable with, so I asked for a work laptop a couple of months ago.  They gave me a hand-me-down old Dell that weighed somewhere close to ten pounds (I'm not kidding!) and would crash every time I let it go into hibernate mode.  So right before Christmas I went to the tech guys & told them I needed something light-weight and more convenient to actually travel with.  We got to chatting about my options (a new Dell) and someone mentioned MacBooks, and I mentioned the new "green" MacBook, and they were like, "You want one?  They cost the same as these Dells" and I was like, "SCORE!!"  So I now have a 13" MacBook and I am in loooooove.  And so is B.  Resolution #5:  Stop thinking of myself as still being the last man on the totem pole at work.  I work hard, and I've earned the respect (and the priveledges!).  So now the problem is that my stupid brother-in-law went & got himself an iPhone, and I want one of those too.  Wah.

I'm into the "green" and environmental stuff, yeah, and I think that people's standards of living need to shift in order to save the economy AND the planet, but I'm not necessarily anti-consumerism like some people.  Anti-credit, yes, anti-spending-above-your-means, yes, but that's not the same thing.  Just, you know, justifying myself and my wanton desire for shiny Apple products.  Resolution #6:  Get rid of credit card debt, then get rid of the credit cards.  

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Travel picks back up next week with a 2-day jaunt to Atlanta for a big training seminar, which may result in my frequent flyer miles going through the roof.  I'm learning how to teach a class to interior designers about indoor air quality, through the organization that we earned our fancy-pants certification from (GREENGUARD Environmental Institute).  Most designers & architects have to earn a certain number of "continuing education units" to maintain their memberships in the national and international associations and such, so being able to teach a class to them for a CEU will get us in the door at a lot more design firms.  I've been feeling more confident talking to groups of people, so having a script like this class will make it even easier I think.  I'm looking forward to it.  Resolution #7: Be more confident!

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Yes, there are more resolutions, but they're for ME.  

Pass the Rogaine, and bring me my back pill!

I'm 29. I'll be 30 in April. Yet I am apparently an old fogey.

The company Christmas party was Friday night.

First off, we got there after the "social hour" and most everyone was already half in the bag. Now understand that B & I are not really drinkers. I've never enjoyed getting drunk, ever, mainly because (a) it makes me really tired and I wind up sitting there staring off into space, and (b) I say and do the stupidest shit after 3 or 4 drinks. So while we enjoy being social, we don't find it necessary to get wasted and make fools of ourselves. Because oh, the foolishness that would ensue!

We ate, had some fun conversation over dinner with our friends, and then the DJ kicked into gear. About an hour later, after "Electric Slide" and every other line dance known to man, after Boyz II Men (I shit you not) and Celine Dion, we had gotten our fill of bad wedding reception/high school dance music. That, combined with ill-advised shoe choices, made the decision for us... we bailed out. It was about 9:30 pm.

And seriously, how could anybody endure that much bad music? Not to sound snobby, but I think we would have enjoyed hanging out with people for a bit longer if our ears weren't bleeding.