2010, The Year of the Stomach-Churning Carnival Ride (because I'm tired of saying "rollercoaster")

I've stolen this from Linda over at All & Sundry for the past couple years.


1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
Filed for unemployment, drove round-trip from Ohio to Washington, opened my Etsy shop.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Nope and nope.  I canceled my gym membership soon after I lost my job, although I did get out and walk the dog more than before.  Every goal I set for myself tended to fall on its face this year, but hey, that's what a new year is all about, right?  Hope?  Right?

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes - what can I say, my friends tend to procreate like rabbits!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No.

5. What countries did you visit?
I don't know if I'll answer this question the right way anytime soon, but I did drive through some new states - Minnesota, South Dakota and Iowa - on our There And Back Again quest.  We also visited some new towns in Oregon - Coos Bay, Bandon, and Bend - and saw some new parts of Montana too.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
A damn job, and our own place again.  And a sense of peace and security.


7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
January 28, and November 2 - the day I lost my job, and the day we gave up & drove back to Ohio.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Not letting my depression, anxiety, stress, and every other crazy emotion I dealt with this year get the better of me.

9. What was your biggest failure?
When I couldn't land a job in Washington or Oregon like I'd dreamed and wished and hoped for.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Some serious sciatica from sitting on the couch.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I didn't buy anything major this year, but we sold a lot of things which was kind of cathartic.

12. Where did most of your money go?
Gas & travel.

13. What did you get really excited about?
Going west, and the interviews I had (all TWO of them).

14. What song will always remind you of 2010?
Zac Brown Band, Toes.  Because it's all about the ADIOS AND VAYA CON DIOS!  And Christian Kane's cover of Fast Car, which I'm sure some people will hate, but I love it.


15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– happier or sadder? Sadder, good god, sadder.
– thinner or fatter? About the same - not eating as much, but not exercising either.
– richer or poorer? Poorer, good god, poorer!

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Spent more time with people while we were in Washington.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Nothing.  Literally, sitting doing nothing.  I feel like I wasted a lot of time this year.

18. How did you spend Christmas?
We actually haven't celebrated Christmas yet - the plan is for January 2nd.  The bro-in-law will be home then, so we decided to wait.

19. What was your favorite TV program?
Castle.  I love me some Nathan Fillion.  And White Collar.  And Leverage and Bones still too.

20. What were your favorite books of the year?
I enjoyed The Alchemyst series by Michael Scott, and LOVED Boneshaker & Dreadnought by Cherie Priest.

21. What was your favorite music from this year?

Christian Kane, Zac Brown Band, The Black Keys.

22. What were your favorite films of the year?
Inception was AMAZING.  I also finally saw Zombieland, which YES, and Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, which DOUBLE YES.  This year was more about catching up on Netflix from the comfort of the couch.

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I don't remember now - we were in the middle of packing up to get out of Toledo.  I turned 31.


24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Getting my job back, or getting a new job, and getting to stay out west.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Pajamas... yeah.

26. What kept you sane?
The irrefutable fact that there are hundreds if not thousands of other people dealing with the same situation that I am, and that I can't take this personally.  Also, the library, for keeping me in new music and good books, and the craft store for keeping me in crochet projects - busy hands = distracted mind.


27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.

"Nobody gets to name you.  You are not forgettable.  You are not replaceable.  You are not your pain.  You're sacred and special and alive."  @jamietworkowski

***
Edited:  I noticed that Sundry cut out a few questions from years' past, so I added them back in here.

Whose behavior merited celebration?  B's brother, for packing up and just GOING where he wanted to be, and DAMN THE MAN.  *sigh*  Wish we could do that.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?  An organization that I will refrain from naming, and their lousy idea of basing their entire hiring process on a stupid online personality quiz.  Seriously, who does that??

What did you get really, really, really excited about?  "Moving."

Did you fall in love?  This is one that can remain edited out, I think.

What did you want and get?  Want and not get?  The chance to spend time with some of my family and friends... and the jobs that would have let us stay there.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy most?  Nathan Fillion.  His comic delivery is brilliant, and he's kinda cute too.  :-)

What political issue stirred you the most?  I honestly have stopped paying attention.  No matter what happens, there will always be people complaining and arguing, and I just can't stand it.

Who was the best new person you met?  My nephew's girlfriend was a lot of fun to spend time with, and some of B's brother's friends in Montana too.

Quote or song lyric that sums up this year:  "The world's a rollercoaster, and I am not strapped in..."  -Incubus, Wish You Were Here

Christmas Around Here

The holidays are a bit more mellow for us this year than in the past.  No place of our own, not much money for gifts, and dinner is being postponed a few days due to family travel.  But the timing of job interviews and so on has allowed us to relax a bit, which is all I can ask for.

Ashley over at The Accidental Olympian posted some (AWESOME) photos of what Christmas looks like to her, and set up a little linky doo-dad for folks to share their images too.  The apartment doesn't look like Christmas at all (right now, it looks like a pharmacy exploded in here what with all the cold remedies and kleenex boxes laying around).  

A bowl of Clementines and holiday beer caps is about as festive as it gets up here!

But downstairs in the main house the holiday spirit is in full swing.

And outside is the winter wonderland usually seen in NE Ohio this time of year.

Personalize a greeting

Positive Outlooks

I think it's a sign that we're doing the right thing when:

On the first day of our drive back to Ohio, I get a call to set up an interview...
On the last day, B gets a call to set up an interview too...
The sun shines, the roads are mostly clear, and we only encounter bad weather in the last 20 minutes of the whole trip...
And the cats are absolute angels in the car for the entire four days.

It's true!  My interview was last Tuesday (I know, I'm way behind with the updates) and it went really well.  B's was Friday, and it went really well too.  We probably won't hear anything else until after the holidays - I do know that I'll have a second interview then, and the job B applied for would start in January, so he'll hear a definite answer soon.  The catch is, B's is in Toledo, and mine is here in the Cleveland area - for those who don't know Ohio geography, they're two hours apart.  So we'll have to make a decision, but for now we're just going to enjoy the holidays.  

***

Driving around town, running errands or Christmas shopping, I keep seeing empty storefronts in really great areas.  It keeps reminding me of an idea I've had in the back of my mind for many years now - I want to have a little shop.  At first it was a little gift shop, with custom framing and local artists mixed in with collectibles and cards, located in a little cottage in the tourist district of a beach town.  I still think that'd be fun, but switch it to a craft shop with beads and yarn instead of the custom framing, and offering classes and perhaps a club of some sort, a sort of local co-op for crafters and artists to interact.  My friend Julie is a crafty bitch (or witch... literally!) like me, and she made a comment to me once about "subversive crafting" which I thought might be a fun name for a shop.  Then today I commented back on something she'd written, saying I was a "fickle crafter," which I think is a good one too.  I think with that one, I would have the opportunity to offer a wider variety of things - "when you can't decide what to create" or something like that. My heart was always set on a beach town, like Seaside, or even Port Townsend, but seeing some of the places around here that are open made me realize that I could do this anywhere, any time.

For right now, I've got my little Etsy shop up and running.  An idea like this takes capital, which I absolutely do not have.  So it'll sit on the back burner, simmering away, while I add new ideas and start saving some money.  

There and Back Again

In case you missed it on Twitter or Facebook, B and I are heading back to Ohio this week.  It wasn't a simple decision - a lot of things were taken into consideration.  But it all boils down to finding work, and unfortunately we're not finding it here.  It's easiest to explain it this way:

1. Yes, we have a free place to stay here, which is awesome.  However...
2. ... it's over an hour outside the city, so getting a temporary job is impossible.
3. And no, we don't want to get a rental while we work temp jobs, that'd be pretty pointless.
4. Between the two of us, we've applied for over 40 jobs out here...  
5. ...and between the two of us, we've had THREE interviews, two for jobs that we didn't take for our own reasons, and the third, well, B got hosed.  It's been more than just frustrating, let me tell you.
6. My unemployment benefits run out at the end of January, so it's sh*t-or-get-off-the-pot time.
7. On top of all this, our free place to stay is COLD.  I don't mind the snow, but when it's below zero outside and we can't keep it warmer than 50 degrees inside... something's gotta give.

Now, back in Ohio:

1. We also have a free place to stay, which is also awesome.
2. This free place to stay is actually WARM, with a gas fireplace even!
3. It's also located right in the heart of the suburbs, surrounded on all sides by places to get temp jobs.
4. B already has a temp job lined up out there, at the ski resort he used to work at.
5. All of our stuff is still out there, so we'd actually be able to use our winter coats and snow boots, among other things.

But the kicker is this: the government is currently handing out millions of dollars in grants toward the Great Lakes Restoration Initiative, which means there are more watershed-type projects being started there, which means more jobs in B's field.  He's put in applications for a few already, including one with the group he did his internship with.  So the chances of B starting his career are pretty darn good out there.  And we've gotten the impression that the Northwest won't be hiring any transplanted Midwesterners anytime soon.

So we're loading back up, cats and dog and suitcases (plus a few more things that my aunt was storing for me), and heading back east.  I never would have thought it was possible to feel disappointed and excited all at the same time.

On and on

Not much new to report.  Mom headed to Arizona a couple weeks ago so we've moved into her little house, much to the joy of the pets.  Jake has the couch, the cats can play race-cars up and down the long hallway, and we have a real bed to share with all three of them.  It's staying warm enough inside (surprising, since we're relying solely on portable electric heaters) and there's snow on the mountains across the river today.

We're both still applying for jobs like crazy - the job interview in Bend went well, but afterwards I realized that I really wouldn't fit in at the company (six people, all hard-core liberal hippies, and me, an only slightly left-leaning Republican... kinda hard to hide your differences in an office so small), and that B would have to take a job completely outside his realm.  It would have been miserable for me and unfair to him, so we decided to keep looking.  So, here we are, still looking.  I have a handful of applications out that I'm really hopeful about, and B has a couple to apply for this week that would be awesome too.  We have days where we just ignore the fact that we're unemployed and essentially homeless and just sit with a book and a crochet project and veg out.  Then we have days where we just want to scream and give up.  Mix in a couple completely productive get-shit-done days and that's where we are.  It's draining.

But we've been spending time with my long-lost friends and family, getting reacquainted with my hometown, and enjoying the scenery, if not the inconveniences of living in the sticks.  We drove past the house I grew up in a few days ago, which I was incredibly nervous about.  Mom had to sell the house a few years ago when she realized she couldn't take care of it by herself anymore, and the impression I'd gotten was that the people that bought it we're taking very good care of it.  In reality, it was just a matter of different taste - they painted it a dark pine-green-gray color with white trim, as opposed to the light gray with blue trim that Mom and Dad had liked, and they fenced a portion of the side yard for their dog and to keep the deer out of their sizeable vegetable garden.  I was surprised to find how much I liked what they'd done to it.  

I drove though my college campus too, which has grown tremendously since I was a student nine years ago.  I haven't visited my old high school yet, and I kind of want to catch a football game there to try and catch up with the coaches and teachers that are still there that I knew and loved.  It's been quite a trip down memory lane, and exciting to see how much the city has changed.  To think, all those years ago I couldn't wait to leave, and now I'm actually glad to be here.

Randomness is all I got

You'd think an RV filled with two cats, a large dog, and two adult humans would be horribly uncomfortable and crowded, but you'd be wrong.  Of course now the weather is starting to turn cold, so that might prove to be an issue...

***
I have an interview next Monday down in Bend, and I'm excited and nervous and mostly excited but still pretty nervous.  It's with a solar panel company, and it's a sales support/marketing job, so it's totally up my alley.  Now I just have to convince them of that.  Eek!

***
Satellite reception out here in the boonies is hit-or-miss, so I was heartbroken when it crapped out in the middle of 'Castle' last night.  But thank the digital gods, it was posted on Hulu already today.  I need my Nathan Fillion hit for the week.

So. Cute.

***
Something somewhere linked to Tumblr, so I bounced over there to see what the deal was.  I think I like it better than blogging.  I place lower expectations on myself for content length and quality.  So you can find me over there now too.

***
Yep.  The whole content length and quality thing is in evidence today.

Gimme a minute to catch my breath...

It's been a helluva time these past few days - we made it from Ohio to Washington unscathed, and have been spending the last three days down in Oregon.  B had a final interview in Coquille and we took some time to drive around the area - from Coos Bay to Coquille to Myrtle Point to Bandon - and, well... I don't want to offend anyone who lives down there, but there were times when I was saying to B, "Paddle faster, I hear banjos!"  I grew up in the country, don't get me wrong, but the vibe I got in SW Oregon was a bit... erm... uncomfortable.  It's hard to explain.  (Then we learned that Deliverance was actually filmed down there, and it made a lot of sense.)  The funny thing is, we struck up a conversation with some guys we met in Bend yesterday and mentioned we'd been down in Coos Bay, and they immediately were like, "Oooooh, yeah those coasties are CRAZY" so we felt a bit validated.  Anyway, we had a good long talk about it in the car on the way to Bend and decided that B is going to pass on this job.  Not just because of the area, but the job itself would only pay $14/hour and would be so fricking stressful for him, dealing with  close-minded, set-in-their-ways locals.  Plus, I wouldn't be able to find a job for myself either unless I want to work at the corner Gas & Go or something.  So, it's back to the drawing board... but at least we're out west now.

We did, however, absolutely fall in love with a couple of areas.  First, Missoula.  We stopped there to visit B's brother on our way to Spokane, and we both immediately felt at home there.  Young, hipsterish/hippieish, outdoorsy, comfortable, just a great town.  Unfortunately a great town with limited possibilities for jobs, but still might work out.  Then yesterday we drove to Bend via Eugene/Springfield along the McKenzie River, and Oh.My.Gawd. is that river valley AWESOME.  It's on our list now too, along with Bend.  B would probably be able to get a job up at Mt. Bachelor pretty easily too - or at any ski resort, really.

So, yeah.  We got all sorts of worked up about something that was so hugely disappointing.  But we've had some fun along the way!

My traveling companions - The cats were somewhat easy to deal with, except when they got tired of each other.  Of course it took me until the last day to figure out the best way for them to travel - Gyro drugged and in his small crate, Lily not drugged and in the big crate.  If they both were in the big crate, Gyro always drugged and Lily either drugged or not, it inevitably led to flying fur and yowling.  I had a nervous breakdown somewhere in South Dakota and nearly threw them both into oncoming traffic, but it all turned out okay in the end.

Wind farm in Minnesota

Sunrise in South Dakota

The storm we drove through in Montana (rainbow!)

The Rockies

The scenery - flat, then hilly, then flat, then MOUNTAINS.  Some ugly bits in South Dakota and some nasty rain in Montana, but otherwise pretty interesting.

Then. finally, my brother's place north of Spokane.  Which is EXACTLY what we needed after that crazy trip.  That's the Pend Oreille River.  Yeah.  My brother just built a new house on his property there, so my mom lives in the little mobile home they were in during the build, and we're in the RV right now.  It's surprisingly comfortable.

Oh, did I mention we stopped in Missoula on the way?

SHOT SKI!

It's starting! (eeeek!)

I sent out a mass-email to my fam & friends yesterday, outlining our plan (as much as we have one) & I've been talking about it in Facebook & Twitter, so I figured I'd make it all official and shit by writing about it here too.  (Since we all know I'm so good about writing...)

We're leaving Ohio on Friday!

The stuff that we had out here at the in-law's has been crammed into our now over-stuffed storage unit, awaiting further instruction.  We'll stuff our clothes into suitcases, fill up a cooler with caffeinated beverages and beef jerky, drug the bejeezus out of the pets, and down the road we'll go, across I-90 through such joyous places as Mitchell, South Dakota, until we land in Spokane.  We'll crash there for a couple of days, then dump the pets on my mom and drive down to the booming metropolis of Coquille, Oregon to meet with some folks that might actually want to hire B, and pay him to do watershed-type-stuff.  The job seems to be in the bag, so when we get a confirmed "welcome to the company" we'll drive around down there to find a place to rent.  Thankfully there are a couple of good-sized towns nearby where we should be able to find a place - otherwise we'd probably be shit out of luck in that tiny little town.

Now, obviously there are a plethora of ways this could all go south of cheese.  I started listing all the possible things that could go wrong, then I started getting the shakes.  Traveling across the country is one thing, but traveling with two cats and a dog is another.  Then there's the whole, what if B doesn't get this job bit, which... while the idea of living and trying to find a job myself in such a smalltown-rural-middle-of-nowhere area kind of makes me a bit OMG, I'd much rather face that challenge than face starting all over again on the job hunt for B.  Me, well, there are dream careers and then there are jobs, and I can find a job doing whatever.  B needs this job to kick-start his career, and I'm willing to wait a couple of years for him to catch up before taking the next step with mine.  Besides, I grew up in hickville, and the area down there looks awesome from what we've been able to see.  I think I can make it work.

I'm still left thinking about what I'm going to do though.  I'm getting the federal unemployment extension and have about 5 more months on it.  It's possible I might get a second extension too, since I last worked in Michigan.  So I could keep leeching off the government for a while.  Or I could find a retail job and have flashbacks to those despairing years right out of college, which wouldn't be too bad but might wind up paying less than I'm getting from UIA.  There are a couple other complete-leap-of-faith ideas, in other words absolutely insane and not entirely realistic, that are floating around in my head.  But both require either a good amount of capital or a good amount of experience, neither of which I have at the moment, so I think they will continue to sit on the back burner.

A couple of things I know I'm going to do though, are the farmer's markets and volunteering with the watershed association that B will (hopefully) be working for.  I don't want my marketing & PR skills to get rusty, so I figure I'll loan them to the CWA.  And I've always wanted to have a booth at a market to sell not only our garden veggies, but my crafty bits & bobs too.  Smalltown Oregon seems to be the perfect place to start, so I'm really looking forward to that.

Also, this:

"Neah da beech, boyeee!"

Simple, right?

Last night I read through my own archives.  I'm not sure why, but I'm glad I did.  For one thing, I noticed some things to edit.  But what stood out the most is how I've changed as a writer.  My Inner Critic tells me that I'll never be a real blogger, that I have no voice, that I'm an okay copy-writer but not a story-writer, that I'm not interesting whatsoever.  But reading my own words, comparing two years ago to last winter, I'm starting to see that, once again, my Inner Critic is full of shit.  I've gotten better, I'm learning to write as I think, as opposed to as I think others might want to read, I've got a bit more focus, and I'm starting to feel a bit more confident, if not prolific.  It's still hard to get motivated though.

I mentioned in a conversation on Twitter the other day that once I have something to write about, I really like the writing process.  But thinking of something worthwhile to write about is where I get stuck every damn time.  That notebook I was keeping beside the bed to write my blog ideas in has been packed (in the same box as my alarm clock, I think) and despite having plenty of time to sit down and type, I just tell myself that nothing is happening, therefore there's nothing to write about.  My blog has always been a simple journal - I share it with my family & friends through Facebook as a way to keep them in the loop on what's going on with me, so I've always had to have some sort of event to write about.  I'm trying to change that mindset, and just write for the sake of writing, to exercise my brain and exorcise some demons.

I think once life settles down and I have a routine again it'll be easier, but these past few months have been anything but settled.

***

As for news, there's nothing to report really.  B is hoping for an interview in the next week or so with a watershed organization in southwest Oregon (around Coos Bay).  He's had some great communication with the Executive Director there, so we're taking it as a good sign considering he's had nothing but form emails ("Don't call us, we've had a bazillion applicants & really don't want to hear from them all" kind of thing) or no communication at all from anyone else that he's applied with.  The supposed "Veteran's Preference" with federal jobs is apparently a load of crap, as he's gotten nothing but rejection after rejection from every department he's applied with, including the Corps of Engineers.  It's disheartening.

Me, well, I was officially terminated at the end of July (which makes sense, considering it's been six months since I was laid off), and I will finally admit that I'm a little bitter about it.  I put two years of hard frickin' work into their green program, and now what?  They're just ignoring it, I think.  I can't even think of an adequate word to describe how I feel when I still see my name on their website, see that they haven't changed any of the information there to reflect that they're not doing the programs anymore.  It's a combination of pissed, yet slightly hopeful, like maybe they're not ready to drop the idea of picking me back up just yet.  Who fricking knows??  Regardless, I've still been applying to jobs out west, but have gotten squat for real leads.  Same shit, different day.  I'd still go back to my old job in a heartbeat, though.

***

As for the move, well, if B gets called about the job in Oregon, then we'll coordinate it with that.  Otherwise, we're leaving Ohio sometime around the beginning of September, no later than the 4th.  B's mom is flying to Missoula to visit B's brother (Little B?  B-Dubz?  Shit, I hate trying to think of nicknames to ensure anonymity, especially when their initials are the same) and B's dad is driving with us, so we're going to time it so we get to Missoula on the same day.  B and I will continue on to my nephew's place outside Spokane and crash there, and our stuff will actually stay in storage here in Ohio until we know where we're going.  It keeps us from having to move our stuff more than once (or twice, really, counting the move from Toledo), and saves us a lot of effort.

So we have a couple of weeks yet for everything to change.  Since it's inevitable that something will come along to screw up our plans.

A Random Random Tuesday

I haven't been doing Random Tuesday Thoughts in a while, mainly because it wound up being the only thing I would post, and I thought that was pretty lame of me.  So instead, I just don't post.
***
Last night I dreamt that I was in Target, trying to decide if I wanted to steal a Superman action figure for a craft project.  But none of the action figures were the original Superman in tights with a red cape - they were all "futuristic" with chrome jock straps and night vision goggles, so I decided not to swipe one after all.  As I was leaving the store a little cream toy poodle walked in the door by himself, so I cornered him and was trying to find a tag with his owner's info on it, except he had so many tags on his collar I couldn't figure out which one was current.  I somehow looked up his ID number online and got a list of even more owners, and it just made me sad to think that this poor dog (who I distinctly remember had cataracts and a gray muzzle, so obviously a senior dog) had been through over a dozen homes in his life, and had been named some really stupid names like Coors Light.  I mean, what kind of jackass names a poodle Coors Light?
***
There's a 14-day backorder on our new iPhones from AT&T (yet apparently the Apple Store has them in stock - grrr) so I've been putting together my wish-list of apps in iTunes.  Seriously, Cowboys Vs Zombies?  I'm on that like white on rice, baby.  If anybody can recommend some good ones, I'd love to hear about them.  I have the basics - my bank, The Weather Channel, Mapquest, Movies, Tweetdeck - and I want a good grocery shopping app, one that scans barcodes and maintains lists.  I'm going to test Grocery Gadget Lite, and maybe Shopper too.
***
(Just checked the status of our orders, SHIPPING TODAY!!  WHOOT!!)
***
I've been loading up my Etsy shop with jewelry, some lovely things I might add.  I even had little business cards made with my shop logo (thank you Vistaprint for freebies!).  I'm going to have to slow down for a bit though, until we get settled into wherever we're going.
***
Can anybody recommend a good moving company for a cross-country move?  I'm getting quotes from United Van Lines, Mayflower, and Budget Van Lines - and of course there's U-haul as a last resort.  Is there any place else I should be looking into?
***
I can't get enough of this commercial:


Frickin' hamsters, ya'll.

Mantras don't always help you sleep though.

I came to the conclusion the other day that goals really aren't worth having.  All they do is stress you out, make you anxious, direct your focus so tightly that you tend to miss out on a lot of other stuff, and ultimately disappoint you in some way.

Now, ideas and dreams - things we'd like to see or do or get, without hanging a lot of hope on and putting a lot of work into them, those are different.  They hang there in the air, and if the chance comes along to snatch them, then it's easy and generally painless and often more gratifying, in that you had no expectations attached to them.

Fate, I guess.  If it's gonna happen, it'll happen, regardless of how much I stress out about it.
It's an easy thing to think - not so easy to live, especially if you're a control-nut like me.  I need a plan.  I rarely leave the house to run an simple errand without a plan - where to go to first, can I save time by getting everything at one place, should I go here too while I'm out, blahdeblah.  And god forbid I don't have a list.

But when it comes to big things, like, say, moving across the friggin' country, it's so much harder to give it up to fate.  I want it to happen so bad that I fuss and stress and freak right the hell out, and I'm afraid that it's going to ruin the joy of finally getting to go.  Whenever that might be.  (Soon, dammit!)

***

B's been working on a research project for one of his professors back over in Bowling Green this past month, which has delayed us a bit but I'm not complaining because (a) it's money and (b) it's experience on his resume.  We've both been applying to every job we might be remotely qualified for, in every place in Oregon & Washington that we might like to live (Portland, Vancouver, Seattle, Eugene, Corvallis, and every little town in between) - I keep telling myself that competition in the job market is ree-frakking-diculous right now, that there are x-times as many people applying for all of these openings as there might be in normal economic times, and that every rejection email (or no response at all) isn't a reflection on us.  It's really hard not to take it personally though.

We still have some options open to us though, to just go and figure out the rest when we get there, but we still have some obligations here to fulfill.  Besides, driving through South Dakota in August is not my idea of a good time, so maybe closer to fall would be better anyway...

I just keep telling myself all of these things - let it happen... don't take it personally... we still have options... but it can still be overwhelmingly difficult to deal with sometimes.

Life, Revised

Last year I wrote my Bucket List. I thought at the time that it was pretty concise, but that's the thing with lists - they're never really done.

Ashley over at The Accidental Olympian just wrote her first "Life List" (a term I like better than Bucket List for sure, which was coined by Mighty Girl, who has a kick-ass list I might add) and so I've revisited mine and changed a few things.   

See Live:

• Flogging Molly on St. Patrick's Day
• Handel’s Messiah at Christmas
• Jimmy Buffett
• Penn & Teller
• A Seahawks game
• An NHL game (no team preference at this point)
• A bluegrass festival
• An honest-to-god Highland Games

Travel to:

• The Outer Banks, NC
• Walt Disney World/Orlando (again)
• Epcot Beers & Wines of the World Tour
• Greece, Italy, Paris, British Isles (Art History Tour)
• New Zealand
• Every National Park:  Acadia, American Samoa, Arches, Badlands, Big Bend, Biscayne, Black Canyon of the Gunnison, Bryce Canyon, Canyonlands, Capitol Reef, Carlsbad Caverns, Channel Islands, Congaree, Crater Lake, Cuyahoga Valley, Death Valley, Denali, Dry Tortugas, Everglades, Gates of the Arctic, Glacier, Glacier Bay, Grand Canyon, Grand Teton, Great Basin, Great Sand Dunes, Great Smoky Mountains, Guadalupe Mountains, Haleakala, Hawaii Volcanoes, Hot Springs, Isle Royale, Joshua Tree, Katmai, Kenai Fjords, Kings Canyon, Kobuk Valley, Lake Clark, Lassen Volcanic, Mammoth Cave, Mesa Verde, Mount Rainier, North Cascades, Olympic, Petrified Forest, Redwood, Rocky Mountain, Saguaro, Sequoia, Shenandoah, Theodore Roosevelt, Virgin Islands, Voyageurs, Wind Cave, Wrangell – St. Elias, Yellowstone, Yosemite, Zion
• All the lakes Dad liked to go or wanted to go, including Christmas Island (Fly Fishing Tour)
• Boston – Sam Adams Brewery Tour
• San Francisco – New Belgium Brewery Tour
• Cape Cod (this summer!!  Which will be another post when we have it all figured out!)

Try:

• Snowboarding
• Sea kayaking
• Hike-in camping
• Cooking a turkey
• A new food or recipe once a month at least
• Writing short stories

Learn to:

• Cast a flyrod (better)
• Ride a horse again
• Quilt  
• -- Hand-quilt
• -- Applique
• Crochet
• -- Granny Squares
• Make cheese
• Sew clothing, not just handbags

Do:

• Collect furniture from yard sales & thrift stores, and refinish it
• Throw an honest-to-god dinner party that doesn’t involve chips & salsa
• Design & build our own energy-efficient & eco-friendly house
• Use my camera more
• Try selling photos & other crafty things on Etsy
• Be in shape enough to run for an hour at a steady pace
• Run an animal sanctuary for pets that wouldn’t be adopted otherwise
• Own & operate a gift shop in a touristy town, selling my handmade items
• Stop drinking pop
• Start drinking more wine
• Work for a college/university in the art department, event coordinator, sustainability, whatever
• Have a self-sustaining homestead/hobby farm
• Have a booth at a farmer's market
• Have a big, sunny, airy studio in the upper story of B's shop
• Take a pottery class
• Take a stained glass class
• Get at least one meaningful tattoo

Bonus: There aren't any assholes with loud stereos here!

We made it over to the Lovely In-Law's place in once piece - considering it was only a two hour trip, that's not really saying much.  But there were concerns about being able to fit in the truck and then in the storage unit, and there were concerns about getting the pets transported.  The first two concerns were valid - it was a tight squeeze, but we got everything into the truck or the FIL's van, and then into the storage unit or the IL's garage (we're refinishing our dining room set, and B is sorting through some of his stuff while we're here, so we had quite a load to bring to the house).  Granted, we couldn't find anything in the storage unit if our lives depended on it, but at least it's in there.

The cats, however... that's a more interesting story.  I got some sedatives from the vet a few weeks ago, mainly for Gyro.  When we made the trip to Toledo three years ago, he was a hot mess the whole way.  Drooling, yowling, peeing, hyperventilating - I did not want a repeat performance, for both my sanity and his health.  So first we made the decision to take the pets to the IL's a couple of days before our stuff to save them that stress.  I crushed up one of the little pink pills and mixed it with half a can of wet food, gave Gyro the dosed half & Lily the rest.  She'd always been fine in the car, curled up and quiet, so I didn't want to dose her.  Well, except I didn't take into account the fact that she's a pig, and she finished off the last few bites of Gyro's drugged food.  So Gyro got nearly a full dose, and Lily got a very small dose... and this time, Lily was the hot mess.  Gyro was quiet and relaxed, nearly konked out.  But Lily was stoned, and it scared her.  It was like The Exorcist in her carrier - she'd lay on her back and push off all sides with her feet until she was spinning around like a demented banshee, and yowling like one too.  She didn't pee, thank god, but she was in bad shape.  She finally calmed down when we were 20 minutes from the house, and once we got inside she was fine.  Beyond that, they've both adapted pretty well to the little apartment, and are enjoying the windows and the birds outside.  Jake, of course, is happy as a dog can be with a humongous yard to run in.  He's only gotten lost once or twice I think, which is pretty good.  His recall is getting better, although it still takes some raised voices to break his concentration when his nose is to the ground.

As for us, we still aren't sure what our time-frame is for heading out west.  We've got a free month of storage, so if we wanted to leave at the end of June we'd save ourselves some money, but I don't know if we're going to be able to swing that schedule.  B picked up a job for June, helping one of his professors from BG with a study on Lake Erie, so he's going to be spending a couple of days each week back over near Toledo.  So trying to work out logistics would be tough with that going on.  We're trying to sell a few more things too - we got rid of the extra bed last week, and B has ordered the parts he needs for the Buell so it can be sold too.  He might sell the Yamaha parts he has, but he hasn't decided if he wants to give up on that project yet.  The point is, our list of things to do before The Big Move is changing a little - not growing a ton, but definitely changing - so we might push it out a little bit.

We're both still job-hunting - B is getting frustrated with the hiring process for federal jobs - it's very slow and he's very impatient.  I applied for my dream job the other day, so I'm really crossing my fingers on it (Sustainability Director at University of Oregon!), and a few others too.  I really hate the job-hunting process though, it makes me feel horribly un-qualified.  My experience is so widely spread - I have very little in-depth in any one area.  It's making my enthusiasm for this whole idea start to fizzle.  And then I start thinking too much and worrying - we're 31 years old, neither of us have jobs, we don't have a home, we hardly have any savings, good god are we even fit to call ourselves adults?! - but then reality and common sense kick in and I remember - B sacrificed the better part of a decade to serving his country which required putting the rest of our lives completely on hold.  We don't have a mortgage hanging over our heads.  We're not tied down to a city that we absolutely hate.  We can find something to pay the bills until we find something that will help fulfill our goals.  It'll all work out.

I hope.

Smooth Move (we hope!)

Everything is still going as planned for The Big Move!  The cats are climbing all over the boxes we have stacked throughout the house, the final few fixer-upper projects are getting done, we sold and donated a bunch of extra stuff that we didn't want to move, we reserved a truck and a storage unit over near the in-law's for a month, and we're planning our route across the country for July.  Which, South Dakota in July?  Yuck.  But I'm not complaining as long as I get where I want to be!
 

View Larger Map


Mom is thinking about flying out at the end of June too, so I can have some company in the car besides just the cats yowling in the back.  (Thank god for sedatives.)  ( For the cats.)  (Although some for Mom might not be a bad idea either...)  (Kidding Mom!!)  If we didn't have the pets with us, we would want to take a side-trip to Mount Rushmore and some of the historical sites along the way, but it'd be way too hot to leave anybody in the cars while we were sight-seeing.  We'll just have to save it for another time.

In other news, I still have a little bit of hope for going back to work.  I called the financial company that manages our 401(k)'s to roll over the funds into an IRA with my bank, and they told me that I wasn't terminated after all - my company had accidentally sent in a termination notice for me to the financial company, but called a couple of days later to correct the mistake, but the financial company had already sent me a notice in the mail about rolling over the funds.  So, long story short, I'm going to try to schedule a meeting with my boss and the president for next week to talk more about the possibility of working remotely.  There's still a slight chance it could work out, and it would be the absolute ideal situation (aka, holy shit it would be frakking AWESOMESAUCE).  I'm outlining some ideas to talk about and planning my attack (tasteful-yet-low-cut-shirt, professional-yet-endearing-and guilt-rendering-demeanor, etc etc).  Wish me luck!!

Forthcoming, Ensuing, Impending

Poor blog... fallen by the wayside...

So here's what's happening.  Our Lovely Landlord put our house on the market a mere two weeks ago.  We showed it for her three times, and she is now negotiating an agreement with a Lovely Family to rent-to-own.  We really shouldn't have worried about the house not being desirable, because come on!

Bye, cute house!  If we could put you on a flatbed and haul you across the country, we would!

So... we have to pack up and move out by June 1!  We knew there was a chance it would be soon, but I think we were ignoring the actual number of days on the calendar.  Let the OMGWTF begin!

The plan is this: put our stuff in storage here in Toledo, load up the pets and a couple suitcases, and head for the in-law's place outside Cleveland for about month.  B promised he would help them paint their house this summer, so we'll spend June working on that and continuing the job search out west.  We've both put in quite a few applications out there already, in Seattle, one or two in Spokane, and all over Oregon, so if either of us line something up then we're golden.  If not, we'll head out there around the end of June/mid-July anyway and crash at either my Lovely Nephew's or my Lovely Mother's house north of Spokane until we figure out where we'll be living and working.

Of course, the best laid plans of mice and men.... but we'll keep our fingers crossed and pray against wrenches.

Out of sight, out of mind

Distractions have been easy to come by.  I've hardly been online these past few days - Google Reader is overflowing, I post to Twitter maybe once a day, and I give Facebook a once-over in the morning with my coffee and that's about it.  I've been watching NCIS from the beginning, crocheting, and the weather has finally turned spring-ish too.  I've been spending my days outside planting things that will more than likely (a) not come up at all, (b) get dug up by squirrels, or (c) freeze when we get hit with a freak frost in May.  But at least I'm getting some sun!
***
The countdown begins...
B and I have started the job search.  He had a phone interview today for a job that would send him out in the wilds of central Oregon for three months this summer.  I sent my resume to Starbucks for a marketing job, emailed a prof I knew vaguely about a potential new position at my alma mater, and I keep looking in Seattle, Portland, Bend, Spokane, Missoula, you name it.  I also keep my fingers crossed that something good will happen at my old workplace and I'll get a happy phone call one day soon.

Lovely Landlord is putting our house up for sale in the next couple of weeks.  We've made arrangements with her to show the house ourselves, plus we still have a few projects that we promised to complete too.  Tomorrow I'm going to try to scrounge some boxes from the old workplace so we can start packing, and put a few things on Craigslist.

In unrelated news, we think Jake may have figured out how to nose open the clasp on the gate to our kitchen.  He managed to get in there last night and couldn't get out again... so he of course got into the trash, ate the cat food, mistook the basement floor for the toilet, and now he has the nastiest gas ever.  My dog may have a cast-iron stomach, but holy lord, he's melting the paint right off the walls!

Crossing fingers and toes and arms and legs...

I've mentioned it here and there, in passing, vaguely.  I don't want to jinx it.

But here goes: we are making every effort to move west this summer!

By west I mean Washington or Oregon, maybe Montana, possibly Idaho or even Colorado.

B is graduating in May, and he's looking for jobs out there.  I'm still holding hopes that I'll get called back to my job, mainly because when I mentioned the possibility of a move to them before I left, they were pretty enthused about having someone based in that area and were open to the idea of me working remotely.  But in case that doesn't pan out, I'm looking too.

We have no idea what our timing will be - as early as June, as late as August.  Our landlords are willing to work with us on the schedule, and we've promised to work with them on making the house sellable.

Our friends here in Ohio aren't too happy, but our friends and my family out west are ecstatic.

So, that's the general idea.  As plans come together, I'll post some more.  And if anybody has any recommendations for places to apply for jobs in the environmental sector, let me know!

Sweat Equity and the After-Effects of Manual Labor

I've planted myself on the couch today, with no plan to move.  I didn't even do anything that exciting these past couple of days, but it left me a bit painful.

On Sunday I got a bug in my butt to finish the basement bathroom project that I started, oh, sometime last year.  (Or was it two years ago...?)  When we moved in, the floor was done in indoor-outdoor carpeting (which my cats decided would double as a litter box) and bright blueberry walls and cabinet.  So we ripped out the carpet with plans to put in vinyl tile, and re-painted it in cream and aqua with matching paisley curtains.  But the floor, it waited... and waited... and waited... until finally on Sunday I opened the box of tiles and started laying them out.  It really wasn't that hard of a project, except that (a) every wall in the room was crooked, so there was nothing to square the tiles up to, (b) the toilet was permanently affixed to a concrete slab, so I had to cut around it, (c) the rest of the floor was wood sub-flooring, which was fine except that (d) it wasn't level with the concrete slab, and (e) there was an access panel cut into to it to get at some of the plumbing.  So okay, it really wasn't that easy, but it's a tiny room so it only took me one day despite the challenges.  I still need to run a bead of caulk around the base of the toilet to cover the cut edges of the tiles, and the sink is still not functional, but it looks pretty good for what we were able to do.

I had some tiles leftover, so yesterday I decided to rip out the badly stained and fraying carpet on the landing inside the back door and re-do it with the tile.  I also went stair by stair, trimming the carpet to fit better and re-stapling it to the underside of each stair.  The carpet is still pretty worn out on the stairs, but it looks much tidier and the landing will be easier to keep clean.  I have one piece of trim left to install once B cuts it to size for me.  Not bad for a weekend amateur DIY'er like myself!

So after all this bending/kneeling/climbing/cutting/whathaveyou, I'm a little sore.  My hands are dry and cracked, and my back and legs complain every time I move.  You'd think I'd done something a little more strenuous, but I'm just that out of shape.

But the house is really starting to look sharp - just in time for us to move this summer!  But if it helps our landlords sell it, I'm all about helping.  They've been so understanding and such great people to deal with.  (And if anybody is looking to buy a house in Toledo this summer....!!)

Maybe scotch has less calories?

Scene:  In the car with B, on the way to the local watering hole for Jiggs Dinner and a pint on St. Patty's Day.  The new song "Whiskey in Mind" by Christian Kane is on the CD player.  The song basically talks about a hot woman buying the singer several rounds of whiskey in an obvious effort to get him drunk & take advantage of him.


B: See, guys like him, this kind of shit really happens to them.  Hot country singers-slash-actors-slash-Batman type guys, they get chicks buying them shots of whiskey.  Me, I get chicks buying me salads.  "This is from the lady at the end of the bar.  THE SALAD BAR.  Don't worry, it's low-fat dressing!"

Sunshine can be deceiving.

 

I know, I know. All sorts of free time, but no time to write. Things have been uneventful... no word yet about going back to work, but the unemployment checks are keeping a roof over our heads and groceries in the fridge (including Haagen Dazs Vanilla Honeybee Ice Cream, OMG YUMMM) so I'm not worrying yet.  

***

It's a beautiful day today. Makes me want to dig in the dirt and plant things! Except it's still 40 degrees out there, and still freezing at night, and I guarantee that as soon as we put plants in it'll freeze again. But I do have some seeds started indoors, in a sunny spot on my craft table, and I have my copy of the new Gardener's Supply catalog burning a hole on my coffee table. I keep telling myself to not go overboard this year, that we won't be here through the whole summer, and to save my money for new plants wherever we move to. Easier said than done...

***

I took up a new crafty hobby a couple weeks ago (like I need another!) and tried my hand at crocheting. My first attempt was a bit wonky, but looks like a scarf. Unfortunately I used a tight stitch so it's a bit stiff - it looks like a wrap-around popped collar or something. I bought a new skein of yarn yesterday to see if I can make a lap blanket to match our bedroom. Yes, I know I'll need more than just one skein to do this, but I didn't want to buy 10 skeins only to burn out on the project. My craft closet is already overflowing with half-finished cross stitch projects, I don't need to add to that pile.

***

I have this great picture in my head of what our next living room is going to look like. I want it to be centered around this photo my brother-in-law took.

It goes with our existing black & red decor, and opens up the color palette for new furniture. I want to make a quilt throw in plaids and tweeds to go with. Of course this is all months and months down the road, so I have plenty of time to oogle furniture (like this awesome couch!!) and change my mind a million times about the fabrics to use in the quilt.

***


I spent a day last week sorting through our CD collection, reorganizing them in their binders and ripping a few more into iTunes.  I came across the very first mix CDs I made in college, when the shine was still on Napster and I'd rounded up a ton of crappy oddball songs that I thought I wanted.  Holy lord, is it ridiculous.  I actually had to Google the lyrics of a few of them because I not only couldn't remember the artist, but the name of the song escaped me as well (and some I still can't figure out).  That's how craptastic these songs were.  So naturally I added all of them to my computer.  

(Daggum narrow columned set-up...)
Yeah.  Awesome, right? 
I'm just bummed that I still can't find my "Monster Ballads" CD.  That thing had some kick-ass tunes on it, like the stuff you'd request to hear at junior high dances then get your friends to go ask your crush to dance.  Sad.