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I came to the conclusion the other day that goals really aren't worth having. All they do is stress you out, make you anxious, direct your focus so tightly that you tend to miss out on a lot of other stuff, and ultimately disappoint you in some way.
Now, ideas and dreams - things we'd like to see or do or get, without hanging a lot of hope on and putting a lot of work into them, those are different. They hang there in the air, and if the chance comes along to snatch them, then it's easy and generally painless and often more gratifying, in that you had no expectations attached to them.
Fate, I guess. If it's gonna happen, it'll happen, regardless of how much I stress out about it.
It's an easy thing to think - not so easy to live, especially if you're a control-nut like me. I need a plan. I rarely leave the house to run an simple errand without a plan - where to go to first, can I save time by getting everything at one place, should I go here too while I'm out, blahdeblah. And god forbid I don't have a list.
But when it comes to big things, like, say, moving across the friggin' country, it's so much harder to give it up to fate. I want it to happen so bad that I fuss and stress and freak right the hell out, and I'm afraid that it's going to ruin the joy of finally getting to go. Whenever that might be. (Soon, dammit!)
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B's been working on a research project for one of his professors back over in Bowling Green this past month, which has delayed us a bit but I'm not complaining because (a) it's money and (b) it's experience on his resume. We've both been applying to every job we might be remotely qualified for, in every place in Oregon & Washington that we might like to live (Portland, Vancouver, Seattle, Eugene, Corvallis, and every little town in between) - I keep telling myself that competition in the job market is ree-frakking-diculous right now, that there are x-times as many people applying for all of these openings as there might be in normal economic times, and that every rejection email (or no response at all) isn't a reflection on us. It's really hard not to take it personally though.
We still have some options open to us though, to just go and figure out the rest when we get there, but we still have some obligations here to fulfill. Besides, driving through South Dakota in August is not my idea of a good time, so maybe closer to fall would be better anyway...
I just keep telling myself all of these things - let it happen... don't take it personally... we still have options... but it can still be overwhelmingly difficult to deal with sometimes.
Hello -- I saw your comment on the Lucy March blog about moving to another state without a job. I did that during the last downturn in the economy, so I can relate to the frustration part. But it seems to me that you have a tremendous resource that might help.
ReplyDeleteThe way I got a job up in Portland was through a girl in an online writing class, who knew another girl who was looking for someone to do my line of work. If I'd try to go through HR, I'd never have been considered. (I was living in another state at the time.)
With all the Betties out there, surely there are people who know people in your target markets?
p.s. What kind of jobs are you looking for? Since I'm working in the Portland area now :)
Merry, thank you! I need the encouragement right now for sure.
ReplyDeleteMy last job was Sustainability Coordinator - I'd love to stay in that sector, whether for a 'green' company or just a 'regular' company that wants to work on their environmental footprint. But I'm applying for any sort of marketing job right now, just to get in the door. My experience is spread out funny though - a couple years doing this, dabbling in that, assisting with a variety of things but never really 'in charge' until the sustainability thing, and I was only able to do that for 2 years before getting laid off. Ugh. It's so FRUSTRATING.
It looks like we'll be heading to Spokane around the end of August regardless of whether we line something up though - my nephew offered his house to us - so at least we'll get out there. I just really didn't want to have to move twice, you know? If we can find something before then, it'd be ideal.
As someone who's been looking for work lately, there seems to be x-times as many people applying for everything these days. Hope Brian can find something back here.
ReplyDeleteI treat goals like a shooting target. Everyone says do the "shotgun" approach to job hunting, and I say no way. If there is a target out there you find the best way to hit that target. Shotgun pellets go everywhere and fizzle out. Shotguns are a percentage game. Out of 200 tiny little pellets one of them is going to have to hit the center of the target...but only if the target is close. Pick up a rifle and place that one well-aimed shot at that target. Whether you are accomplishing goals or surviving the zombie apocalypse shoot the closest target first.
ReplyDeleteLastly, its ok to come off of the range and not shoot at targets for awhile. Rifles need cleaning and sometimes the targets fall over and need to be stood back up.