Pet Parenting 101

Things I have learned during my time as a fur-baby's momma:

• Cat health and carpet quality relies heavily upon clean kitty litter. If necessary, set an alarm on your cellphone/computer/both to remind you to clean the catboxes on a more regular basis.
• Dogs like squeaky toys because they imitate the sound of a dying animal. (Maybe it was a bad idea to get Jake that "Naughty Kitty" stuffed toy and encourage him to "get the kitty!")
• Dogs do not care what other things may be in the water they drink. Like toilet paper that didn't make it all the way down on the last flush, or B's "compost tea" mixture of rotting plant bits and rainwater in a tub on the patio that smells like methane.
• Cats, however, require pure, fresh drinking water, straight from the tap, in a fine little trickle. Sink or bathtub, either is fine, as long as it is turned on at their demand.
• Cats see things.
• Dogs are just neurotic.
• Both dogs and cats, when peeing/pooping/vomiting/harcking up hairballs in a place they shouldn't, will always choose a carpeted area to do so, rather than a tiled/hardwood area that would be ten times easier to clean after the fact.
• Cats are allowed to beg at the table (short of jumping up on the table) because it's cute when they meow/purr/butz your legs with their heads.
• Dogs are not allowed to beg at the table, because they stare/drool/whine/are annoying as hell.

I'm sure I will continue to add to this list as time goes on.