Everybody is talking about this post by The Bloggess from last night. If you haven't read it yet, you really, REALLY should.
When depression sufferers fight, recover and go into remission we seldom
even know, simply because so many suffer in the dark…ashamed to admit
something they see as a personal weakness…afraid that people will worry,
and more afraid that they won’t. We find ourselves unable to do
anything but cling to the couch and force ourselves to breathe.
The simple fact that those of us that suffer from depression, or that love someone who does, are ashamed of it - that's unfortunately a heartrendingly true statement. It's such a stigma, something that gets downplayed or openly mocked by so many people; even by those who have it. And it's not just depression, but the whole litany of mental disorders - see, just saying "mental disorders" makes you automatically think "the crazies," doesn't it? It's blatantly obvious that the common mindset about these diseases needs to change.
I hopped on teh Googles to see what sort of organizations are out there for education and support. Here's what I've found, and wanted to share:
Silver Ribbon Coalition - An effort to promote awareness of brain disorders through the silver ribbon symbol. They talk about how the red ribbon campaign for HIV/AIDS helped reduce the stigma hanging over that disease, and how the silver ribbon campaign hoped to do the same for brain disorders - and while they tout their success, obviously more needs to be done. Their shop has some nice things.
No Kidding, Me Too! - Founded by Joe Pantoliano, NKM2 wants to make brain disease a common conversation through the media and entertainment industries. Their board member list includes Robert Downey, Jr., Samuel L. Jackson, and a ton of other names whose voices would definitely lend credibility to the cause. Their LifeLinks bracelets are pretty cool too.
NoStigmas - The post by The Bloggess proves the goal of NoStigmas - that by sharing our stories, we share hope. Just knowing that we aren't alone in our struggles gives inspiration to others, and educates as well.
To Write Love on Her Arms - TWLOHA is probably the best known of the groups dedicated to this cause. Their shirts can be seen on hipsters nationwide, they host concerts and events to raise awareness for teen depression and suicide prevention, and they recently won a $1 million grant from Chase based on Facebook votes. The popularity of TWLOHA is inspiring, yet sometimes I wonder if the true message of the group gets lost.
It's taken some harsh realities for my mindset to change - I'm hoping that it doesn't take such unpleasant circumstances for others to change, too. So show support, educate others, and let's destroy the stigmas.
I came to the conclusion the other day that goals really aren't worth having. All they do is stress you out, make you anxious, direct your focus so tightly that you tend to miss out on a lot of other stuff, and ultimately disappoint you in some way.
Now, ideas and dreams - things we'd like to see or do or get, without hanging a lot of hope on and putting a lot of work into them, those are different. They hang there in the air, and if the chance comes along to snatch them, then it's easy and generally painless and often more gratifying, in that you had no expectations attached to them.
Fate, I guess. If it's gonna happen, it'll happen, regardless of how much I stress out about it.
It's an easy thing to think - not so easy to live, especially if you're a control-nut like me. I need a plan. I rarely leave the house to run an simple errand without a plan - where to go to first, can I save time by getting everything at one place, should I go here too while I'm out, blahdeblah. And god forbid I don't have a list.
But when it comes to big things, like, say, moving across the friggin' country, it's so much harder to give it up to fate. I want it to happen so bad that I fuss and stress and freak right the hell out, and I'm afraid that it's going to ruin the joy of finally getting to go. Whenever that might be. (Soon, dammit!)
***
B's been working on a research project for one of his professors back over in Bowling Green this past month, which has delayed us a bit but I'm not complaining because (a) it's money and (b) it's experience on his resume. We've both been applying to every job we might be remotely qualified for, in every place in Oregon & Washington that we might like to live (Portland, Vancouver, Seattle, Eugene, Corvallis, and every little town in between) - I keep telling myself that competition in the job market is ree-frakking-diculous right now, that there are x-times as many people applying for all of these openings as there might be in normal economic times, and that every rejection email (or no response at all) isn't a reflection on us. It's really hard not to take it personally though.
We still have some options open to us though, to just go and figure out the rest when we get there, but we still have some obligations here to fulfill. Besides, driving through South Dakota in August is not my idea of a good time, so maybe closer to fall would be better anyway...
I just keep telling myself all of these things - let it happen... don't take it personally... we still have options... but it can still be overwhelmingly difficult to deal with sometimes.
I was inspired by Lucy March's post to compose a list of things that make me happy. I've been working on it for the past few days, adding a little at a time. Have you ever noticed it's harder to think of good things in your life than it is to think of all the things that are wrong with it? I'm totally stuck in that rut... have been for ages. Although I'll admit that this time at home has given me a different perspective, and I'm learning to appreciate the things I enjoy.
1) A cat on my lap. They're like furry, rumbling hot water bottles.
2) Sunshine as my alarm clock. It's helluva lot better than a screeching buzzer.
3) iTunes. I can create a soundtrack for whatever it is I'm doing, which makes even the mundane things a bit more enjoyable.
4) My Macbook. Using a computer used to be a pain in the ass, but now it's actually FUN again.
5) The little happy-dance that Jake does whenever we come home.
6) Cute socks. I can appear all professional on the outside, but my socks reflect what I really feel.
7) Books. If I had a million dollars, I could very easily spend it all on books. And no, I have no interest in a Kindle.
8) Making things, from a massive quilt to something as simple as decorating an old jelly jar to hold safety pins. I go through "crafty cycles" - one month it's making jewelry, the next it's sewing handbags, later it's glass painting. I always have something I'm making.
9) Cooking. I never thought I'd say it, but cooking makes me happy. Unless I burn it or screw it up somehow... but at least I tried.
10) Getting long emails or letters from friends. I don't like talking on the phone, so getting notes or messages or wall comments or whatever makes me happier than hearing the phone ring.
11) Unique-smelling candles. No plain vanilla for me!
12) Shopping for other people. As much as I like shopping for myself, I love finding something that makes me think of someone else, and then seeing them light up when I give it to them.
13) Being near water. Lake, ocean, river, creek, whatever. I love the sound of it rippling or crashing, and the way light sparkles across its surface.
14) Songs that remind me of my dad. I was listening to my iPod the other night and had just put a new Nickel Creek CD on it, and this song "The Fox" starts up and immediately I recognized it as one my daddy used to sing in the car.
15) Leverage, and Bones. The two shows I actually get excited about watching.
16) Teaching someone something I've learned through my job or my experience. I wouldn't ever want to be an actual teacher, but I like passing on things I've learned myself to my friends and family.
17) Gardening. Being out in the sun, the smell of the dirt, watching something grow, seeing and tasting the results - all very therapeutic and rewarding.
18) Walking in a big city. Weird, because I'll be the first to say that I'm a country girl at heart, but I love walking through a place like Chicago or Boston, being able to take the time to really look at and enjoy the city. I think you feel more of a camaraderie with a place when you can walk in it, rather than just drive through it.
19) French fries. And cupcakes. And Whatchamacallit bars. And a really good burger. And fresh seafood.
20) The way Jake curls up in a ball with his tail covering his nose.
21) Lilacs.
22) Flipping through the channels and stumbling upon a great movie I haven't seen in a while.
23) Having people over. We don't do it as often as I'd like, but I enjoy being a hostess.
24) A rocking chair perfectly situated in front of a fireplace or in a sunbeam (or both!).
25) Putting on sweatpants the minute I get home from work. (Of course now, I just wear them all day, but it's not the same.)
26) Playing hooky. When I don't have to do anything or be anywhere, and I can just enjoy the day however I choose. Which, even being laid-off, is still a special occasion.
27) Shopping for fabric for a sewing project or quilt. Every time I go to the fabric store I find something cute or pretty, and wish I had something I could make out of it.
28) A sunny day at a park with my camera.
29) Splurging on something at the grocery store. Today it was Dove hearts with almonds from the Valentine clearance bin, and Fritos.
30) Finding a great blog and reading through the archives.
31) Browsing an arts & crafts show, and finding something truly unique and beautiful that I just have to have.
32) The Menagerie, aka when both cats and the dog are piled on the bed with B and I at night. It's a little crowded, but it's fun anyway.
34) Birdwatching. Sounds a bit fuddy-duddy, but growing up in the sticks we had lots of birds that would visit our yard. Here in Toledo, we have sparrows. And pigeons. And starlings. That's about it.
35) The heated seats in my car.
36) Completely oddball, ridiculous humor. Like Robot Chicken.
39) My cat Lily's noisy, sputtering purr. She sounds like a car with a bad muffler.
40) Clearance sales at my favorite stores, especially when I have a gift card or two.
41) Good coffee. I've gotten spoiled, and I can't drink Maxwell House or Folgers anymore.
42) Also, good beer. I refuse to drink Bud Light or anything like it, if there's something better available.
43) Decorating. We've been lucky to have a landlord that lets us paint and such, but I cannot wait to have our own place to do anything we want.
44) Flip-flops, or better yet, my Croc sandals. (and the appropriate weather of course!)
45) Browsing a thrift store for fun things. I found the perfect pillowcase today to make another one of these (I've already made two), and also spotted a pretty blue & white plate that I kind of wish I would have bought.
46) The nights when B and I look at each other, say "screw it," order a pizza from Papa John's and watch TV all night.
47) My hairdryer/brush combo thingy. It makes covering up my cowlicks so much easier.
48) Having a craft room. One day it'll be a full-blown studio, but for now, a cheerfully messy craft room.
49) Fixing something or figuring something out all by myself.
50) Realizing that there are a lot more happy things in my life than I originally thought.
Having time to work on the list of house projects that I was afraid would never happen, including some that were strictly optional yet potentially fun
Working on half-finished craft projects, like the quilt I'm making out of fabric from when I was a kid and the cross-stitch for my sister I've been working on for over ten years
Not being too tired to cook in the evenings, and cooking more things from scratch
Mid-morning naps
Mid-afternoon naps
Catching up on Dexter, Burn Notice, and Angel
Putting a bunch of stuff on Craigslist sooner rather than later
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Filing for unemployment in one state while residing in another is apparently too complicated to do online
Having to get rid of our unlimited text feature on our cell accounts
Having to get rid of cable TV (but substituting Netflix/Hulu)
Turning down the heat even more to save on the gas bill
Stressing out over our lack of groceries and also lack of grocery money
Potentially going back to retail just to have some income
Anticipating having to pay out the nose for COBRA insurance coverage
Having to borrow money from our parents (at least it would be interest-free.... right, Mom?)
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(At least the cons are all in future tense. We're hoping we won't have to do all of them.)
*I wrote this (unpaid, unsolicited) review for my workplace 'green' blog and thought I'd share it here as well.
Michael Pollan, bestselling author of In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifestoand The Omnivore's Dilemma, has published what is called a "definitive compendium of food wisdom." Food Rules is a short, easy-to-understand guide to eating real food and avoiding over-processed "food-like substances." Pollan's mantra of "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." was established after the extensive research he did for his previous books. He found that all the science and techno-babble about the nutritional value of food could be simplified down to its core: real food is what's important. Not the additives, the preservatives, the artificial, the pre-packaged - real food. This philosophy is reiterated again and again, with rules such as "Avoid food products that have ingredients that a third-grader cannot pronounce," and "It's not [real] food if it's called by the same name in every language (Big Mac, Pringles, Cheetos, etc.)" The book not only discusses what to eat, but also how to eat. Pollan discusses the problem with "Western" food culture in the introduction, and breaks down the way we eat as one of the key issues alongside what we eat. Common sense wisdoms such as "Stop eating before you're full" and "Spend as much time enjoying the meal as it took to prepare it" encourage readers to pay attention to how they're eating to avoid overindulgence. Pollan's previous works cover some of the same material, but go into much more detail regarding the science and statistics behind the reasons for avoiding processed foods. Food Rules is, in essence, the simplified version. Some of the 'rules' were written by Pollan, but in the introduction he discusses his process for this book, talking to not only nutritionists, doctors, and food scientists but also folklorists, anthropologists, mothers and grandmothers, looking for insight into what rules, ideas, wisdoms, and sayings about food are not only truthful, but have survived the tests of time and culture. The result is a common sense, simple to follow guide for eating healthfully. (If you'd like to borrow my copy of the book, feel free to ask! It's also on sale on Amazon.com for $5 - less than half the cover price.)
Well, actually most of my relationships are complicated, but let's just focus on this season for now. No need to psychoanalyze everything.
I love living in an area with four seasons. I think I would go bonkers in California - not just because of the liberals either. As nice as the idea of continuous 70-degree days sounds, I think I'd get tired of it pretty fast.
I like the variety of food that comes with a seasonal climate. I mean, if it were 80 degrees in December, who would want to eat soup? Or roasted turkey? Or baked squash?
It's easier to get warm than it is to cool down. I'm pretty sensitive to hot weather, and get heat exhaustion easily. So no desert life for me.
I love the sound of snow. That eerie quiet when you wake up at 4 a.m. and just know that it's snowing.
Christmas lights without snow just aren't the same. The snow lends a little extra sparkle to holiday decorations.
Also, deciduous trees just look sad and dead without a coating of snow.
I don't particularly like driving in the snow, but now that I have all-wheel-drive it's not so bad.
I also don't like cleaning snow off my car, but that's what a garage is for. (Or a husband!)
I hate the static and dry skin that comes with cold weather. We don't have a built-in humidifier, and while we run a small one in the bedroom at night the house is still really dry. So is my office. I hate getting zapped by everything I touch, even my cubicle walls! And I always get the worst dry skin in the places I can't reach very well. Sometimes I can get a helping hand, sometimes not, and sometimes I make a trip to the bathroom at work with a bottle of lotion. (Wow, that doesn't sound right.)
What about you? What's your relationship with Old Man Winter?
”Are you happy?” is the hardest question to answer – it implies that you’re supposed to be happy all the time – an integral state of being. Or is it just a fleeting emotion? That’s how it seems to me – and content or comfortable might be the better word for life as a whole.
Our marriage is both content and comfortable, broken-in like an old pair of jeans. There’s some holes in them, but they’re still perfectly wearable. I think that's how a marriage should be - something that might be shiny and pretty when it's brand new, but softens and stretches over time so you come to value it even more as life goes on.
My job? I'll be honest and say that I'm not happy, or comfortable, or content... I was, at first – just like with any job I suppose. And I know the economy is to blame – we don’t have the money for my programs and for the travel and all the things I was so looking forward to doing. But that doesn’t make it any easier for me to drag myself out of bed in the morning just to come to the office and struggle through the day. There’s nothing I can really do about any of it, and it’s frustrating and demoralizing. So at work, I guess I'm settled, and willing to persevere until it gets back to being comfortable.
Am I happy where we live? This I can definitively answer with a big, fat, NO. In a nutshell, it's just depressing. I really like our house – there’s things I’d change if we bought it, yes, but it's mostly comfortable and pretty and home – and I love my garden when it’s nice enough outside to enjoy it. But no, there is very little about Toledo itself that I like, let alone makes me happy.
I honestly believe that most people's definition of happiness is royally screwed up - so many hang their happiness on possessions or people or positions - they define themselves and their lives by these things. It's like there's a stigma on being comfortable or content as opposed to happy.
I guess I'm tired of trying to justify my life through emotions.
If only we'd stop trying to be happy we'd have a pretty good time. ~Edith Wharton
I decided to check out wordpress today and see if I might want to switch over from blogger. Because blogger is part of google, I was having some issues with multiple accounts and keeping track of what was accessed through where... blahblahblah. So far, I'm impressed. The dashboard is much more user-friendly, and the stats tools are nice to have. Although I don't like the inability to use your own theme - or at least, I haven't figured out how to do it yet. From what I can tell you have to either be a genius, or pay for the ability to edit CSS... neither of which is what I am capable of or want to do. If anybody out there knows an EASY way to do it (can you insert HTML code in a text widget like in blogger?) I'd love some hints.
Other than that... looks like this is my new blog home. I combined my two blogs (Open Mouth, Insert Foot and Life Through Green Sunglasses) into one to make blog fodder a little easier to come by. Hopefully this doesn't have any adverse affect on potential readership... I'm NOT a hippie freak, I swear - it's my job, and I like to share stuff that I learn through it is all. I'm not perfect at this green stuff by any means! So I hope no one is turned off by this side of things. I also have a tendency to talk about my pets a lot, and I like to show off my garden and the artsy fartsy crafty crap I do too. I guess my point is, my subject matter will be all over the charts. Just like my mind, I guess.
Because I link to this site from my Facebook page, I know a lot of my friends & family will be reading. So I just want to say right now that I hope I don't offend any of you with anything I might say. This is my place to vent a little while trying to push the creative side of my brain back into the light of day. It's been a long time since I've journaled or written in a free-flowing, not-work-or-school-related way, so I'm pretty rusty. Some of you know this already (HA!) but I have a kind of twisted sense of humor and a bit of a dirty mind, and that will probably show here. So don't be afraid, and don't be offended. If you are anyway, then you might want to stick to my Facebook page. I'm a little more reined in there.
So, now that that's all out there... time to go see what the cats are doing in the basement that's making so much noise.
A Native American proverb says, "We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors; we borrow it from our children."
Sustainability is defined in two ways. "Meeting the needs of today without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their own needs," as determined by the World Commission on Environment and Development in 1987. More simply, sustainability can be defined as a three-legged stool - environment, economy, and society - or planet, profit, people.
When you apply the principles of sustainability to a business, it makes a lot of sense - your operations should have minimal impact on the environment, or perhaps a positive impact if any; your business should be economically viable and profitable; and your employees' rights to fair treatment, wages, benefits, and a healthy working environment should be met.
But at home, sustainability is defined a little bit differently. It's clear that you should make sure your life doesn't have a negative impact on the environment, but what about the economical and social sides?
In the past couple of years I think it's become pretty obvious that living above your means, relying on credit cards and financing options, and basically spending money you don't have are not sustainable choices. Being financially sustainable at home means you don't pass your debts along to your children or other family members, you have the cash available for emergencies, and you're not a strain on the economy. Imagine where we might be if people hadn't bought more house than they could afford, or if credit cards simply didn't exist - wishful thinking for society, true, but why not in your own life?
Social sustainability at home is simple as well. Both physical and psychological health have a role. Managing your stress, weight, emotions, and other health concerns are all part of being socially sustainable at home. Establishing healthy habits, a happy home environment, and strong educational opportunities are social benefits that will pass along to future generations.
I think it's easy to see where the three branches of sustainability intersect and overlap. Many "green" products and practices can have a positive impact on your finances and your health - for example, using vinegar as a household cleaner not only avoids putting harmful chemicals into the waterways, but also saves you money and prevents the negative health impacts of using those harsh chemicals.
Taking a look at everything we do - viewing life through not just green, but sustainable sunglasses - is important not just for our lives today, but for generations to come.
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