Maybe scotch has less calories?

Scene:  In the car with B, on the way to the local watering hole for Jiggs Dinner and a pint on St. Patty's Day.  The new song "Whiskey in Mind" by Christian Kane is on the CD player.  The song basically talks about a hot woman buying the singer several rounds of whiskey in an obvious effort to get him drunk & take advantage of him.


B: See, guys like him, this kind of shit really happens to them.  Hot country singers-slash-actors-slash-Batman type guys, they get chicks buying them shots of whiskey.  Me, I get chicks buying me salads.  "This is from the lady at the end of the bar.  THE SALAD BAR.  Don't worry, it's low-fat dressing!"

Smile... no, SMILE.

This weekend I decided we should take our annual "Christmas picture" to put in our e-cards to friends and family.  First off, yes, I send e-cards instead of paper cards. I hate spending a lot on postage, so this way I can send it to more people, I can attach multiple pictures, and I also don't feel like I'm adding to the after-Christmas-massive-amounts-of-paper-waste-stream as much.  (Read: I'm a cheapskate.)

Anyway, the pictures.  The dog is apparently afraid of the tri-pod, so I couldn't get him in any of the pictures even by sitting on the floor:

(Also, hello chins?  Plural?)

So I cropped Jake's (worriedomgwhatsthatblinkingthingwithlegs) face out and got a halfway decent one.

And yes, B has a beard.  And yes, that's exactly how it grew in.  There is no hair between the 'stache and the goatee.  It's kind of weird, yet I'm glad because can you imagine if it was all filled in?  Yeesh.  As it is, he's a pretty decent looking mountain man.  Also, note the side-swept bangs that happen to perfectly cover a massive volcanic zit on my temple.  Ta-daa!

Then we got the giggles, trying to take a "scenic overlook" type picture (you know, the ones where you hold the camera at arm's length) but the timer was still on so B's holding the camera out there for a full ten seconds...



...which morphed into this:



....and then we have the Gaping Nostrils of Doom:



....yeah.

No, I'm not watching the game

I became a sports fan when I was a teen, when my three best friends and I started up the sports medicine program at our high school.  We added the task of stat-keeping to our usual ankle-taping and nose-bleed-plugging duties, so I learned a lot about the in's and out's of most sports.  I'm not coordinated or in shape enough to play anything myself, but I LOVE football and NCAA basketball (not a fan of the NBA), and later added baseball to the list.

My husband, however, doesn't like sports.  Yes, I'm serious.  He's an anomaly.

He'll watch baseball occasionally, and grew up as an Orioles fan.  He played hockey as a kid.  He has a strong interest in martial arts (he studied Jeet Kune Do and Silat for a little while) and loves UFC.  But he can't stand football or basketball.  GAH.

I also have the added problem that my teams are on the west coast, but I live in Ohio.  So it's all Buckeyes, all the time out here, and it's difficult to be a Huskies/Mariners/Seahawks fan (or Trojans/Broncos, but shhh, don't tell) simply due to the fact that their games aren't usually aired.  So I've completely lost track of sports.

Hence my addiction to crime dramas and gardening, I guess.

The ER Sucks, or Tell Me Another One, Captain Obvious.

Figured I'd better write a full on note about this instead of just a 140-character tweet, just to avoid sending anyone into a panic. B and I spent a good 4 hours at the ER last night - he was working in the shop, cutting the handlebars down on his motorcycle, when the cutting disk on his rotary cutter shattered - one of the broken pieces flew up & caught him in the lip. The cut really wasn't that bad, only about a half-inch long, but it went clear through his lip to the inside of his mouth, so we drove over to the ER at UTMC (only about 2 miles away, convenient!) and sat there for freakin' EVER waiting to get three stitches. It was kind of busy there, but it was still pretty annoying to watch nurses wandering around kind of aimlessly while we sat there. It didn't bleed much thankfully, but it's swollen as hell. He'll probably have a small scar, but his teeth weren't damaged at all so that's good. So that was our Memorial Weekend adventure!

Stuck in a rut

I probably could think of something to write myself, but I'm too lazy right now.  Also, I have another big pimple inside my nose, and it hurts.  So here's yet another meme, with a couples theme, from All & Sundry.

What are your middle names?
Mine is Ann, B has two, Stewart Taylor.  Any offspring will follow that theme, by the way.
How long have you been together?

Married just over 5 years, together just over 8.
How long did you know each other before you started dating?

Depends on how you define dating, and also on how you define when we met.  We were introduced via email in 1997 or 98, but we only emailed for a few months before losing touch.  Then we officially met face to face in 2000, and really got serious that winter, but it was all long distance. Then I moved to Ohio with him the following summer.  So, I guess the short answer is, 3 or 4 years?
Who asked whom out?

I think I asked him if he'd be able to fly back to Washington for my winter formal, which was our first official date I think.
How old are each of you?

We are both 29.  B is 1 month 11 days older than me though.
Whose siblings do you see the most?
B's, since mine live across the country.
Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Deployment and other Army related things.
Did you go to the same school?
Nope.  I went to college right after high school at Whitworth, B joined the Army and is just now working on his undergrad at BGSU.
Are you from the same home town?

Nope.  B moved around Maryland/Virginia/Ohio when he was a kid, I lived in Chattaroy pretty much my whole life.
Who is smarter?

I honestly think we're pretty even.  Sometimes I think I might have a little more common sense than him, but that might be more anal retentiveness than sense.  He's better with numbers & manual things, but we're both pretty intelligent.
Who is the most sensitive?

Me, but he's pretty sensitive for a dude.  I tend to get my feelings hurt easier.
Where do you eat out most as a couple?

We frequent a couple of places, Mi Hacienda for Mexican and Glendale Garden Cafe for breakfast.  But I've been cooking more lately so we haven't gone out in a while.
Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
From Ohio?  Seattle.  (It's still weird for me to think of Seattle as being so far away.)
Who has the craziest exes?
Neither really.
Who has the worst temper?
We both have pretty bad ones.  One of us will overreact first, then the other overreacts to the overreacting...
Who does the cooking?
Me, but B likes to pitch in sometimes.  And in the summer he mans the grill.
Who is the neat-freak?
I am, but I'm kind of a lazy neat-freak.  
Who is more stubborn?

I guess we're pretty even.  I'm stubborn about how some things should be done, and he's stubborn about doing just the opposite!
Who hogs the bed?

The dog.  Although we both are very practiced at the art of 'tuck-and-roll'.
Who wakes up earlier?
Usually B.  On the weekends he lets me sleep in, which I love.
Where was your first date?

First time we met was at The Blue Spark in Spokane.  First real date was to my winter formal, but I totally don't remember where it was held.
Who is more jealous?
Right now, me I guess.  He's in college surrounded by hot little girly boxes all day, how can I not be??
How long did it take to get serious?

Not too long.  We were officially 'together' (albeit long-distance) for about 6 months before I moved to Ohio to live with him.  It was 2 years before we got married though.
Who eats more?

He does, but we're working on sharing meals better so he eats less (and slower).
Who does the laundry?

We both do our own.  B freaks out when I wash his clothes with mine, insisting that they've been contaminated with cooties.  Yes, I live with a 3rd grader.
Who’s better with the computer?

We're even I think.  He got pretty good with them through his Army job, and I grew up working with them at home and now spend my entire day staring at one.  
Who drives when you are together?
We take turns.  He likes getting to drive my car, but I also annoy the crap out of him when he drives.

Poster Boy for I'm Not Sure What

B cleaned the kitchen AND the bathroom this weekend. And I sat on my ass like the lazy bitch I am.

It wasn't until last night that I realized that he was totally using cleaning as a procrastination tool, to avoid working on the 10-page paper that was due on Friday, that he told his prof he would have done today, that still wasn't done as of this morning.

But would I have yelled at him, told him to put down the sponge and go do his homework, if I had realized his ploy sooner?

That, my friends, is a difficult question.

I don't think our kitchen has been this clean since before we moved in.