Posts
Dear Body,Stop with the pain, please. Right Shoulder, your constant aching and occasional stabbing pains are getting old. Lower Back, I know you're having some 'internal turmoil' right now but I'd appreciate it if you laid off with the muscle spasms. And Head, if I could remove you and leave you in a jar on the nightstand, I totally would. You're all on notice.
Sincerely,
Ibuprofin Ain't Cuttin' It
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Dear Northwest Airlines/Delta/Whoever You Are,
I hope you appreciate the effort I will be putting into packing this weekend. I will even be weighing my suitcase. Seven days, split between work and vacation, into one bag? This might get ugly.
Cordially,
At Least Phoenix Will be Warm So I Can Pack Clothes That Weigh Less
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Dear Subconscious Mind,
I'm really not sure what to do with you anymore. You're kind of freaking me out, with the way you randomly spew things into my consciousness while I'm trying to brush my teeth and get ready for the day. This morning? The odd bit of the Jabberwocky poem that I remember from my freshman year of college ("Oh frabjous day, calloo, callay!" He chortled in his joy.), when I had to perform it in my drama class (which is another story altogether). Seriously, STFU and let me put on my makeup in peace.
Thank you kindly,
Not Awake Enough For That Bizarre Shit
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Dear Dog,
You seem to be the subject of a few of these notes. I wonder why. At any rate, please, please, PLEASE behave yourself next week while I'm gone. I know B is a bit more lax about the rules than I am, but that doesn't mean you can take advantage of him. Stay out of the damn kitchen, and keep your bathroom business in the yard, not the basement. I'm tasking the cats with keeping you in line, and you know you hate it when Gyro gives you the evil eye.
Much Love,
Mama, aka the Keeper of the Yogurt
/concur with the bizarre subconsciousness
ReplyDeleteOnly mine happens when I'm trying to sleep ><
I do that too, but occasionally I get repetitive thoughts that won't go away and make it really difficult to nod off. ><
ReplyDeleteI tend to daydream when I'm trying to go to sleep, but when I wake up all hell breaks loose. Usually I have some weird song stuck in my head but this morning it was Lewis Carroll. IDK.
ReplyDeleteIt's when I go to sleep for me too.
ReplyDeleteRandom stuff flies through my head. It's when I tend to remember that thing I really needed to talk to my husband about.
Sad thing is my talking out my thoughts winds me down, but winds him up.
litter*** that was supposed to be "cat litter".
ReplyDeleteBTW, Amen to the dog thing. My parents dog would love to get into lots of things if he was left alone, cat little included.
ReplyDeleteMine has never gotten into the litter boxes, but the cat FOOD is a temptation he can't avoid! It makes him so SICK too. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteThe one night I left the door to the kitchen open coincided with one of the few times that they left Lucky (the dog) in the living room after his 5:30 am potty break. My husband woke up to sounds of him with his head in the litter box.
ReplyDeleteLucky has to be monitored when he goes outside, otherwise he tries to eat his own poop. So him digging in the cat litter wasn't that unexpected. He normally stays on his side of the house, and I think that was the first time he'd even seen the litter boxes.
Cat food would probably also be a problem. Lucky's food bowl stays empty, and licked thoroughly clean.